Christmas in Jamaica for ole time’s sake?

Puss juk, oonu sih yah now — dis Christmas yah gawn in 2013, was one piece a sinting. Mi travel through dih city a try find some goodas celebration in true Jamaican style an nutten. Not even chocklit tea.. Everybody a holler and a bawl bout hard times.
Vendors a camp out extra inna bendown plaza, az nutten nah sell outta di pile a clothes an tings dem go tek pon consignment from di Chiney wholesdale. Good fi some a dem cause some a dih sinting dem Hugly caan done and some a dem look like it build fi half a use.
So mi come to thinking afta mi a pass some woman a chat bout di good ole days when dem was picknininis an a enjoy Christmas.
Den there is good ole Mass Glen among some olda folks weh always siddung pan mih eays a tell mi dis an dat bout when him was a bwoy, right deh pon mih van back pon Hanover Street. As soon as im sih mih a siddung, him walf craass wid him stick an plop beside mi fi tell mih all kinda tings, an poor mih sometime not eben mih can keep up fih write wen dissa man ya inna him 90s start fih chat.
So den her’e a lickle list a tings dem ole people used to enjoy weh wih coulda well do wid now fi kip up real Jamaican Christmas a yaad.
1. Food a di fuss ting some people a go tell you bout Christmas so mi a go start by asking who memba di good ole chaklit tea? Dis because mi love chocklit and mih Christmas neva feel real widdout a bun pon mih tonuge from all the hot oil a float inna dih enamel cup.
2. Who memba di duck bread weh shape like duck or crocodile. Dem dayz deh pickney used to fight fi tail or wing as if it matta to di taste buds
3. Who memba Christmas pudding with sweet potato and cornmeal with a dash a coconut milk, different from blue draas or duckoonu
4. Who memba di pig, goat, cow or fowl weh yuh puppa or granny kill pon Chrismus eve
5. Den Chrismus mawning wen yu haffi tep down to chuch all wehn the new shoes a bun out you daylight saving time
6. Who memba a sing carols, all wen you a tink bout di chrismus dinna you a go home go eat
7. Who membba di Cantata and Chrismus concert
8. who memba eggnog, some get it cold, some get it hot
9. Who memba gungo peas special
10. Who memba di Chrismus cake, real fruit cake, heavy like lead an smell like Rum bar. Was your sorrel laced with red label wine, syrup and rum too?
11. Who memba the sorrel and the ginger beer weh buss up bottles like homemade bombs
12. Who dih socks weh dem mumma put up ova dem bedhead pon Chrimus eve, and den fill it with fee fee and balloon, dis fih tell dem a mawning seh Santa pass thru
13. Who memba a put up peppa light inna di ackee tree
14. Who memba a go Christmas market, dis fi eye shop or window shop.. but if you come home late, dog nnyam yuh suppa
15. Who membba dih new clothes
16. Who memba tram car round town or riding the more modern train from townn to Montego Bay
17. Who memba when Jonkoonu had meaning, children ran wild but they learnt about their true history through these characters

Nuff tings mi memba, mind yuh some a di memories dem prod up betta inna good hearty discussion with some a dih olda folk dem weh talk till wata come a dem eye like Mass Glen when him memba seh him did have all a him teet dem fi eat till him belly feel like it a buss. Most of all I memba bout all dem happy smiles and haappy faces, every baddy polite and well couldnt wait fih Chrismus and Boxing day fih go cross Aunty so and so, and Grannie fih eat dung dih place. An nobady neva mind.. one big family especially among family, adapted family and friends and boy di chuch coulda mek you feel like the whole world a yu family..

An before mih leave mek mih tell you bout how dih wan Tessanne Chin gih dih whole entire Jamaica one piece a present with har VOICE breakthrough!
Mih fi wan neva tink she did need fih enta but yuh dun noa, that’s in di ideal world wen at least the mahority a famous Jamaica get it right a tart invest in artist back-a-yard to abroad.
Still big up oonuself from Jimmy Cliff right to Shaggy to Third World to Usain and Barrington Watson right to dih one Bernard hoyes.. Oonu goodas Jamaicans weh spread dih flag abroad.


Jamaica culture and ‘b***ymanism?


Well now, in Jamaica dem hav all kinda ism, nuh mek duppy fool yuh! But a wah catch dem creature deh a dih University a Technology di odder day, yes the pressitgious UTech college tun unviversity.
Di ting tun up wen tv shed lite pon wan secuity guard a beat dih living daylite outta wan student, and the footage did seh a because im gay, dat him an wan nex yute wenna doogo doogo. Dih security guard who since get arrested catch dih bwoy wen a mob o odder students run down di two alleged b***yboy dem fih God ongle know. Dih fuss class idiot dem claim tek refuge inna dih guardhouse and a so dih secuity get im fi dun him out.. almost.
BUT mi waa oonu tink, cuz oonu claim to be well thinking Jamaicans –
1. Onnu nuh realise seh B***ymanism, yes homosexuality for want of a stooshie stooshie word ago leagalise and dis action yah gainst dem bwoya a go onlge give support fih speed up dih process
2. den now a two fuss class idiot – dat deh security neva know all along seh im deh pon candid camera.. kiss mi mumma backside. A wah tek im. Im gi di bwoi some lick, lef right, an centre, plus some kick. Fi wa.
Den nuh tek bad sinting tek joke dis time, di newsteam dem now seh di security did check seh dih boy a tief cause him a run from weh dem tief two cars dih nite before. A suh mih noa Jamaican people dark.. Cuz we believe dih explanation given by a oo dat now — well som big head at UTech weh come gih speech
Tel mih now, two wrangs doant mek one right, but a 3 wroangs.. suh wih backk to square wan…
Wa b***yman tings a do pon capus.. a suh doogie doogie between man an man sweet dat dem heat rise afta Sandy so much dat dem haffi let off air weh students– leaders of tomorrow can sih dem. Well gracious me.
So a wah diss a tell me bout Jamaica doa eeeh… as much as wih homophobic.. fraid fraidy a dih b***yman ting, wih have a live an direct b***yman culture fih dem wan ya come out fih gi live show an neva een a penny seh dem a go draw mob crowd.
Mih personally tink seh if a did wan woman and wan man student, mob wudda come same way fi even watch show.. but dat a me…
Jamaicans love drama, and whole heap a dem a secret pervert. dis listen to dem chat.. Nuh watch how some a dem b***yman yah gwaan, dem doogo doogo inna di closet more dan man and mih
wait nuh leave out government yuh nuh. both sides have its portion of gay politician Dem gay till izza shame.
Jus tink when J-Flag bring up Human Rights Act as I said before — homosexuals going to go legal.
Memba dis nex time yuh wa tun up—
Human Rights international seh everybody have rights to be demselve, believe dem ting as long as dem nah get phtiscally abusive.. my own wuds. so wen it come to eventually man will get legal fih screw all dawg weh some Jamaican start awready as long as dem nah physically abuse.. so really massa and missus a di physical abuse ting dem gwen tek and legalise di b***yman dem tings.
But a ova time dem gwine get public listings.
All di tape from Peter king.. dat gwine have its time to show.
Rite ya now.. mih a tell all whoo waan listen save oonu energy –fi deal wid di wuss to come.
B***tymanism going legal, if for no odder reason but dat esp PNP government love bailout and haffi tek it as the bigger heads of di world ARE gay. Dem full music industry, business industry, politics and more dan any Jamaican realise. Use u energy pon oonu self – how oonu gwine survive, how wih pickney dem gwine grow to be and survive.
Di cuntry going get poorer.. suh yuh gwine need energy fi plan yuhself outta personal poverty.
Passon pickney gwine chat up wah parson a do from long time an a give God and church bad name, an more lickle pickney gwine act big an nuh wan learn till it too late.

Tek cyah till nex musing!



Do you remember ole time Jamaica…rhatid?

Yuh memba Jamaica wayyy fram wayyyy back yonder? Yuh did alive doa? Awrite, jus stay yasso, and pretty soon, wih gweng go chat to some ole time Jamaicans. Hello dem is both young and old an’ mek dem tell dem story. Mih chat to wan Mass Glen dih odder day and oi what a ting wen dem used to use war lamp fih light dem way a wayy back when.
Jamaica Public Service yes JPS brite… dem put up all kind a sinting bout dem fih Jamaica 50 and not one piece a information fih teach poor Jamaica pickininis bout dih history, the jurney if yuh will on how we come from midnite darkness a good 50 years ago to today – solar lite chat.
Mi memba wen wih catch peenie wally and put in a bottle fih light at nite to rahtid cup.
Ai sah, if mih do get dih chance, mih get some a dat information fih yuh. Write now thou mih will bring yuh mih lil chat wid Mas Glen an ‘im war lamp.
Meantime, if yuh have memories, post dem yah so or link mih, mek mih post it in an ideal place.
All ’round.
Tek cyah, walk good!


At the heart of Jamaica, Jamaican Art!

Well massaS and missuS, mih well hope oonu have had visits to the heart of Jamaica. i memba did day dih Professa Rex Nettleford tell mih seh I muss look at the way a country treat dem artists to noa where day country is going. Mih find out even more so now seh a true dih man did a talk.

Most times, even when dih artist dem abstract and seem so abnormal.. if you check it out, dem really a express what dem sih inna society.
Jamaican artist and artiste, weddah dem a singa, painta, actor or a form fool inna studio dem truley nuh diffrent being dih moutpiece o society. Pay attention an yuh will well sih how dem a tell yuh watta gwaan inna society.
speaking of which wan very pertinent show start up at the Mutual gallery.
Super Plus Under Forty Competition. yes mi chilus, a real sinting painter, photographer a go get hole heap a money from super Plus if dem can beat out everybaddy else and express good good bout watta gwaan.
Dem put it all unda di good name of The visual Arts and wih love Wayne Chen cause him truley truley lead business community an support dih arts big time.BIGG UPP Wayne Chen.. yuh visits dem all ova dih worl a pay off, sell off. It luk like a ongle yuh learn from dih fuss world country an dash on money pon di arts like dem higher class a country dem deh. Nuh wonda yuh successful an a get bigga. Still readers, trod down to Mutual Gallery from November 1-month end.
The four artists dem weh dem pick fih vie fi de title fih fine arts expression are: Marvin Bartley, photography; Leasho Johnson, painting; Berette Macaulay, photography and Olivia McGilchrist, photography.
Come and vote and watch for more on who wins.
Dem all as the rules stipulate have to be artists under 40, no not age.. by dem wuk.. like jussa buss.

Tek Cyah!



Bringing back Ole Time Jamaica for success of the country

The following is an article that was submitted for my website.. but I find it real valuable insight for my readers here. Karl Vernon is a former employee of the Gleaner with remarkable skills in writing if nothing else. He is very passionate and one of the few persons who remains blunt. A graduate of the University of the West Indies with over 5 years experience as a writer(as deportee), subeditor he has been a major contributor analysing the culture of Jamaicans. This article is both fun and very useful, so read on…

RIGOR MORTIS OF AN ISLAND IN THE DARK (We need ‘Ole Time Jamaica’ for success) by Karl Vernon

What ails this 10,990 square kilometers of an island rock cemented into the beautiful azure Caribbean Sea? The cancer of violence, poverty, indiscipline has mestastized 100 fold. The howls of the wolves mingled with the bleating of the innocent sheep have created a gigantic orgy on this the dark side of the moon.

Romantics dance in the glory of their memories chatting about ‘ole time’ Jamaica! But was ‘ole time’ Jamaica al that good? I am gonna rip asunder the gross misconceptions!

From 1962, Jamaica has been living and enjoying one great big party. The cocoon of self indulgent bacchanal wraps us tightly as we are being suffocating by the party cum mayhem which has sneaked inside of our ego-filled vacuum chocking us to death on the bile which pours from our hypocritical lips and asses. It’s time for a wipe up or for that matter a wipe out. Time for a change, time for a revolution!

The immortal beast of murders stalk us leaving blood stained like the on the Shroud of Turin. Into the hot gates of hell we march, the brave 500 of innocent Jamaicans trying to take a last stand against Xerxes-like forces. We are being embraced by the loving arms of death which kill all and sundry and which has no end in sight or any signal of dissipating.

Alas we crawl, alas we chew on our fingernails of ideas, trying to stanch the flow of life which disappears from there people every day.
Freedom isn’t free at all. It comes with a cost, the cost of blood. Not to take that quotation lightly and to abuse the innocent but it has to STOP now and forever. This is no time for semantic dabbling and squabbling and or Sophist philosophy. It is the time for action. It is not the time for beautiful death or rain of blood in the dark of the morning.

What are the views? If you have any, please share them. The political correct world which we live in will see the emotional aspect intrepidly getting in the way, creating a rolling stone of an obstacle which will crush was like a giant mudslide.

Jamaica has always been a violent place society. It was found, colonized and still is being governed by violence. The blood of wrath runs through us all and wakes the ghosts of the Grim Reaper. As a society which was built on blood, it will not come easily overnight. Lots of mind altering brainwashing will have to be done, some immoral, some dead wrong to get this society back on track. The cycle of violence which engulfs us all makes one wonder how it began and how can we dismantle the wheel of doom

The Police in trying to do their job do sanctioned or non-sanctioned terrorism. It makes one wonder the many reports of shoot outs and men have been killed and guns taken off them while not one cop has been scarred. Is it that the gunmen are such poor shots and the bullets from the AK 47 stops Matrix like before these paramilitary executioners masquerading as police officers? On the flip side, you have the zombie-like gunmen who kill wantonly, mercilessly, who are adored in song and dance as legendary shottas. The hypocrisy of us all is the drug which sparks the madness swirling around and in us.

The lack of foresight, the lack of intelligence (overused word) by the powers that be to locate, medicate and eliminate the abominations which we suffer comes back to haunt us all. The garrisons all need to be torn down. Every single one of them and the inhabitants spread far and wide as the wind blows sand. The indoctrination of a culture of discipline, respect, tolerance for the fellow man needs to be urgently addressed or else as we see, hear and feel it every day, we shall all fall upon the sword of evil which we live by.

A nation of consumers, we are one giant market place consuming all the shit which is produced overseas while we export little or nothing. Bauxite alone cannot save us neither is tourism which as you know is owned by private interests. Jamaica needs to wake up, re train and train its most PRICELESS COMMODITY- its people on how to be in tip top shape for the 21st century or else we will be left wandering by the drying up stream of a stagnant economy which will leave us parched and dying of thirst.

Imagine, Jamaica’s earning from foreign remittances is 20 percent, about equal what is made from the combined effort of bauxite and tourism. We are in dire straight ladies and gentlemen. The percentage of arable land is not great. 16 per cent of arable land is in use
Yet about 17% of our workforce is employed in agriculture. A whopped 65% is in the service industry. Don’t ask about the heavy industry as it is VERY minimal. Our debt is 134 % of GDP which is some 14 billion. We are on shaky ground!

The good if you see any is propped up, a stiff breeze of adversity. How long will Jamaicans stand aside in the face of outrageous, criminal behavior and reason it away as someone else’s problem? Do not talk to me of gunmen and corruption. Do not speak to me about Jamaica’s and God’s love for this country.

Do not attempt to lie and justify to me these despicable crimes; this casual murder of women and children, this forced starvation, this denial of medical treatment, this destruction of a people …all while engineering the events that justify the bloody reactions. I see. You see we all are to o blame for the indiscipline which bleeds us dry. The blood cannot stop running, the sutures will not hold. We are in a barrel to the bottom of the river. Only the few brave will voice and echo the brave saying No RETREAT, NO SURRENDER.

But as things are a going, I have seen that we have already surrendered. I have never lived my life with regret until now. I am seeing the crystal ball better than a Ms Cleo. I am seeing reality and if we do not wake up from our beaver like slumber we are as we are doing WILL DIE IN HELL
You cannot make me blind to what I see. I see. I hear. I feel.
Every evil thing they do brings them a few feet closer. I have nothing more to say.

For more articles by Karl Vernon visit


Eh Eh, Jamaica soon turn 50!

Eh Eh, I remember when Roy Rayon won JCDC’s song contest with hit song “22 years to salute”. If oonu bawd, tell mih de year and you just might get a prize.
I sit back now thinking of the upcoming silver anniversary of our achieving Independence from England August 6, 1962.
What really will we be achieving for us to galang like we deserve to be growing those silver hairs. I started two columns on my own website. One is important dates to remember in Jamaica’s culture history. I certainly am going to highlight at least one major achievement in Jamaica’s history per year in this section to reflect on at least 50 things to be GREAT-FUL for – sports, science, arts, culture, banking.. you name it. Now I invite you too.. if you got something to add.. Please do.. others may never know or even remember till we tell them. Here goes in a little of this English and a lickle a dat Jamaican tongue mix:

1. TENK GOD FI SHAGGY and the buzzing circle round him:
Shaggy and Friends concert launched in 2009. A powerful event, if eva dey was wan. Did you know this event not only helps children of Bustamante, but is a power tool in promoting Jamaica’s creative power to the world.
Added to that the book ‘Shaggy Parrot’ series the brainchild of Jana Bent led team exposes lickle pickney pon whole to the arts and culta of Jamaican.. Mi well proud a dem two related Jamaican project dem ya.

Stay connected for more updates yah suh!!


‘Team Jamaica’ makes us all bigger and better as one

The following excerpt is from a speech made on the final day of the Team Jamaica course which ended June 4, by Anthea:
May I recognize the presence of our trainers and organizers, and judges who made us more complete as Jamaicans.
The Team Jamaica Programme promotes the reality that “Together everyone achieves more,” and I’ll add FOR JAMAICA.
I will do a brief overview. How does it enhances the delivery of our professional services? Please see more in the Team Jamaica pullout of the Dear Jamaican tabloid.

A few students do a 'One Love' pose on Jamaica Day!

In 1996, after several disconcerts surfaced within the industry such as visitor harassment, one Jamaican, Mr Horace Peterkin, dared to come up with a solution. The Team Jamaica Advisory Council was formed and training of skills began in 1996. The programme fully developed by the Tourism Product Development Company (TPDCo) was officially launched in 1997. The Team Member training is the first certification level of the Team Jamaica training.

I participated in the weekend Team Member training held mainly at Knutsford Court hotel, from May 13 to June 4, 2011. It was fun and the team did achieve a lot together and grew more hospitable. Hospitality, above all, is critical in the delivery of any professional service from being a lawyer, politician to a room attendant.
After four modules we know Knowledge is indeed power. The training was made interesting with power point presentations and activities.
You can only imagine just how proud we feel being better equipped to speak about our country – it’s people, history, folklore, beliefs, language, culture, food, entertainment, music, dance, flora, fauna, environment. We also confidently share on our attractions and events, achievers and achievements, show a dance step or two, share about Jamaican proverbs and riddles.
There were also lessons on police community relations, self-development and self esteem, customer service. All this empowers all professional service providers, but especially within the tourism industry to deliver better. The list of providers include tour representatives, hotel employees like entertainment co-ordinators, custom officers, airline personnel, craft traders, attraction employees. Please see more in the pullout.
The tourism product is a combo of experience and memories, I now can help to create with an enthusiastic attitude. Fellow tourism workers, this training gives the knowledge of the tourists, how they see us and why they come to Jamaica as being among the best tools of a professional service provider. It makes you understand other workers as being Jamaican team-players in delivering services for visitors whether international, regional or domestic. This inspires me most in the delivery of my package of offering souvenir art.

Taking a leaf from our presenters, we are more confident, as we prioritise the needs of each tourist – the customer. Thanks Mr Oneil Thomas for those dance lessons and clarity on our culture and environment, Thanks Ms Charmaine Henry we are better customer service providers. Ms Shirley Lindo thanks for assisting us to develop our self esteem. Mr Charles Cross thanks for that trip through our history. Corporal Winston Harris thanks for training our watchful eye and Ms Maureen Aarons we are no more dryland tourist thanks to you, but Jamaicans knowledgeable about exciting attraction spots.

Mr Oneil Thomas monitors the demonstration of Jamaican dance taught as part of the Team Jamaica training (Team Member course May 13-June 4). The demonstration is being done by Craig Green and Kelleye-Jean Barnaby on Jamaica Day. ANTHEA McGIBBON PHOTO.

As an arts and culture Journalist, I am equipped to share more accurate information, and to foster better relationships, visitor awareness and interest. Now we know how much each Jamaican is a walking advertisement of who we are collectively. We will show how tallawah we are as creative Jamaicans, full of love, strength, talent and plenty achievements to share regardless of one’s reason for coming. Some come for nonobligatory reasons such as leisure, health, and some must come for family, friends, ceremonies, special missions, trade. As one team we offer various types tourism such as business, eco, culture, community.
We are a rounded Team Jamaica – “Together Everyone Achieves More” ensuring that “When tourist come they know,” and gain unique memories from experience.

Please see Team Jamaica pullout where Team Member graduates share briefly, and photographs testify of the fun we had learning how better to serve this dynamic tourism industry. As a special bonus, please see my song “Team Jamaica Journey Fi Betta.” Let’s sing the verse verse together to the tune of Mek mi tell bout the story of the blessed virgin Mary! 1,2,3 and ….. sing along!
Walk good together!

VIEW PDF of Dear Jamaican newsletter


Jamaican Bush fi dis, bush fi dat!

CAUTION: Written in Jamaican dialect!

Well if you nuh noa bout Jamaican bush, even one weh good fi sinting, sitten wrang wid yuh! Big time. All Jamaican grow up a learn bout bush fi dis, if not bush fih dat.
Memba di Jamaican peppermint fih gas as in GAStroenteritis and the herb fih a good clean out. Some people love aloe vera, sometimers confused with the Tuna for washing dem hair, especially wen dem have dandruff.
Dont forget dih greens wi all did grow up a eat like callaloo fi iron and tings!
Mercy, but dem bush and greens wuk fi true. Jah-Mek-Ya.. Jamaica blessed by God fih True!

Si wan list ya fi apply fi all kind a evil weh oonu a face:
Dis click
Jamaica plants, herbs, bushes for cures and more

See more about bushes at!