Exploiting the Pain and Shame of an Illicit Affair
I cannot bear to watch that wretched South Carolina governor being ridiculed and shamed on television. And I will not yield to temptation and use him as an example of the general depravity of Republican politicians. Not that I fail to grasp the irony of the Republican Party’s self-righteous preaching about “family values.” Not that I condone Republican politicians’ hypocrisy: They take the name of the Lord in vain when they exploit morality and religion for political advantage, and they expose themselves to justifiable contempt when they throw stones at others and are later shown – as they so often are – to live in glass houses.
I suspect most Republican politicians – most politicians - are depraved. Politics is a dirty business. And politicians often are dirty. But a love affair is no laughing matter. It can be beautiful. It can be sordid. It can – and often is – tragic.
In the case of South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford (pictured above with his family at his swearing-in ceremony), it is a tragedy. To understand the horror of it, you have only to read this passage from one of the emails he sent his lover, emails that are now being tittered at by a titillated public:
This is ground I have certainly never covered before – so if you have pearls of wisdom on how we figure all this out please let me know. In the meantime please sleep soundly knowing that despite the best efforts of my head my heart cries out for you, your voice, your body, the touch of your lips, the touch of your finger tips and an even deeper connection to your soul.
If you have ever fallen under the spell of an irresistible attraction, you will understand. If you have not, you cannot know what Mark Sanford is going through. He fell into that ring of fire that Johnny Cash sang about when he lost his heart to June Carter. And he can only watch helplessly as his life and career go up in smoke.
He will have to answer to his wife and four sons. And he will bear those scars forever. He will be diminished in the eyes of family and friends. He will be humbled when he looks in the mirror. Far less important, he will lose the trust of his constituents and irreparably damage his chances of political advancement.
Do not misunderstand me. I could not disagree more with Sanford’s politics. To me he is a sorry excuse for a governor. He seems to be arrogant, ill-informed and self promoting. And it would be tempting to say, “It serves him right!”
But as a fellow human being, I pity him for the pain he must endure, and I pity his wife and family for their anguish. And I pity his lover, herself a hapless victim of Cupid’s arrow. Affairs of the heart are unpredictable. Love is like a train wreck. It comes without warning, and the best anyone can do is try to pick up the pieces.
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5 comments
Sorry, I am a romantic myself George but I have always felt that one cannot build happiness on another’s pain. Lust and not Love is the key word here. We all have lust from time to time, someone like Bill Clinton apparently experiences it each time any female crosses his path. It is an addiction like any other.
I believe once you speak those wedding vows you must do everything to build a strong union with that person. It takes two however to fulfill that marriage contract and so if one partner does not wish to participate fully then I believe that the marriage contract can be considered void, whether done so legally or not. Therefore I would not place any blame on Hillary Clinton if it turned out she has a lover. I know she loves Bill very much, and he her as well, but he is not capable apparently of upholding certain vows so why should she.
All of us are human and err but these thoughtless and mindless individuals spouting their self righteous rubbish deserve to be humiliated. You are surely much kinder and forgiving than I am.
No one can stop us from loving another human being but I do not believe it has to be acted on. Perhaps that is what is called being repressed–but I don’t think the world suffers from too much repression.
Frankly I think it is her body and lips and hips that trump her soul.
Lust is the train wreck!
Somewhere in the bible it tells us what “Love” is and I don’t think it has to do with careless behavior.
You may well be right, Liz. Some people have more willpower than others, and deserve credit for their strength. But if you lust in your heart,haven’t you also transgressed? It seems like a no-win situation to me: Act on desire and be punished; don’t act on desire and forever wonder what might have been.
I don’t see it as a no win. I think you win if you stand by your vows(no different than any other contract) that you promised and will then be a person of honor. What might have been? –well possibly the best sex of your life but is that worth more than your honor. Let’s face it though, some marriages should not be and so they should be brought to an end if so.
I think lust in our hearts is a natural state for most of us, unless we are dead, but I think we either move our minds along to more productive things or give ourselves permission and rationalizations to do what we want.
Lust has popped up in me when I didn’t even know it was happening HA-that train wreck again. Thank God I was out of danger before I knew what hit me. I doubt it would have ended well.
I have to admit as well that I am probably real low on testosterone so maybe that is why I can spout all of this. I hear you guys have it really tough!
It so happens that I live in SC and it is a shame to see our State take another hit on the chin. Also, whether you like his politics or not, I thought he was one of the only politians that stuck to their principles. Yet again I am disappointed. I guess that I should rephrase that, there are many who probably do, I just don’t like their priciples. I dislike hypocrites more than any other type of person and Republicans seem to have more than their fair share of them. They give the rest of us a bad name. I will neither rationalize or accept his behaviour. The real problem isn’t his affair, it is the fact that he deserted his post and showed a complete disregard for his responsibilities as the governor.
Wanted to add a note to Steve about hypocritical Republicans. Yes, there are a few Republicans I can respect, like Colin Powell, and I seek to understand their allegiance to their party. It is just too bad that the party has been taken over by the OTHERS. Even the ones who are not outright horrors seem to me to suffer from a huge deficit of imagination.
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