Posts from — September 2011

Contributed by Althea Bailey

The Oxford Dictionary defines self-esteem as “an opinion of one’s own character.” When you have high self-esteem, it means you know you are a worthwhile person, someone worthy of love. You respect yourself and who you are. Self esteem results from thoughts and feelings that may be positive or negative. The more positive feelings lead to higher self esteem while the more negative feelings lead to lower self esteem. High self-esteem is also different from pride or being too conceited. People with high self-esteem like themselves but they don’t think they are perfect or better than other people.

While building good or high self-esteem in a child is mainly the responsibility of the parent, the quality of the relationships that the child has with people in spheres of influences outside of the home and family can also make an impact. The types of relationships and the messages that a child receives are very important in building self esteem. When the messages children receive from those people close to them are positive, friendly, and respectful they are more likely to develop a strong sense of self-esteem. If, on the other hand the child is rejected and not valued, then it will be more difficult for that child to love him or herself.

Having high self-esteem is very important for children as well as parents. It is quite common for parents with low self esteem to raise children who also have low self esteem and vice versa. Self esteem affects the way we live, act and feel about ourselves and others. High self esteem can make you feel, capable, productive, effective and lovable. Low self esteem can make you feel worthless, incompetent, and unloved. Positive self esteem makes it less important what others think and say about you while people with negative self esteem are usually unassertive and live to please others. The most important reason for ensuring that children develop a positive self image is that it serves as an effective barrier to negative influences and behaviours.

Our values influence our self esteem and the choices that we make.  We usually make choices that are in line with our values and self esteem. Negative or poor self esteem reduce the chances of our children making good choices and maintaining personal values that may not be popular. Sometimes in order to fit in or to impress others, people including children ignore their values. For example a child at school who reports the misdemeanor of another may be labeled an “informer” by other children. In the Jamaican context an “informer” is viewed at best with ridicule and at worst with hostility and physical violence. A child who experiences or anticipates any of these responses and who has poor self esteem may not choose to “do the right thing”.

At all costs parents should avoid actions and relationships that can cause their children to develop low self esteem as this usually results in lack of self confidence and expectation of failure. Children with low self esteem can experience poor academic performance, a distorted view of self and others, lackadaisical attitudes and negativity because of their inability to be self motivated and to persist in spite of challenges. Things that cause poor self esteem in children include; verbal abuse, neglect, shaming the child and comparing the child negatively to others including siblings. Young people who are or have been exposed to violence, even violence delivered as discipline or care, are likely to have a very low self-esteem, and what’s worse, they often feel guilty and unworthy. Sometimes they may even feel that adults have the right to use violence against them.

There are also factors in the community and society that can affect the way your child perceives him or herself. It is important that you discuss things such as skin colour, hair texture, generally accepted norms of beauty and attractiveness. Help your child to accept that variety is natural and good. Help him or her to understand that people of all races, skin colours, body shapes and sizes can be attractive. Reinforce the fact that what is popular is not always wholesome or even correct. Make your child feel good about thinking independently and encourage him or her to make good and healthy choices based on facts and not  necessarily popularly held beliefs.

In order to raise emotionally healthy children with positive self esteem it is important that the parent love their child unconditionally despite of looks, disabilities or illnesses. Make your child feel loved and appreciated by praising them, hugging them and providing for their physical, emotional and spiritual needs. It is important that parents be positive and supportive of their child while providing guidance and direction and correcting mistakes. It is far more effective to provide positive reinforcement of good behaviours than to spend enormous amounts of time and energy enforcing punishments or shouting and screaming at a child. Don’t force your child to live out your dreams. Know your child’s personality, their likes and dislikes as well as their strengths and weaknesses. Help your child to discover his or her special talents. Encourage the child to be the best he or she can be at athletics, academics, art, music or whatever it is the child enjoys and does well. Remember a positive self image is one of the best weapons you can provide your child against negative influences and behaviours.

Photo: Poppy Thomas-Hill

Althea Bailey
Lecturer
Health promotion & Behaviour Change Communication, University of the West Indies Mona

The Kid ‘N’ Play Jamaica blog is a part of the Kid ‘N’ Play JA network. Kid ‘N’ Play JA is an online resource for parents.  We share information on children’s activities and attractions, fun ideas to engage with your children, parent and kid’s articles, promotions and giveaways and so much more.  Experience us at www.kidnplayja.com, Like us on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/kidnplayja and Follow us on Twitter @kidnplayja.  Join our conversation as we build a strong community of parents around our children.

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“My nine-year old son is always asking me for the latest video game, shoes, or DVD, with no thought about the cost of these things. I know I spoiled him when he was younger by buying too many toys and clothes for him. Now I’m worried that he’ll grow up without a clue how to manage money and live within his means. What can I do to teach him about money?”

Just like many adults, today’s children are riding high on the massive wave of consumerism that’s taking over our society. It’s easy for them to succumb to peer pressure and feel that they are not ‘with it’ if they don’t have the latest gear- Heelies, Crocs, Motorola flip phone, Playstation Portable, IPod, and more.

What can parents do to combat all these negative spending influences? Our challenge as care-givers is to substitute positive values that teach children about money – how to earn it, keep it, and make it grow. To be successful in re-programming our kids, we must first be good role models by practicing successful money management too.

You can start your kids on the road to being wealthy, well-adjusted adults by imparting the practical values inherent in the money rules below. This week we will look at three key laws which will show children what money is really worth. Next week we will look at rules to teach them exactly what to do with the money they have.

1.  Money is earned

Many times, children don’t see the connection between work and money. They see their parents heading to the ATM, where by magic, money appears; and they receive gifts upon demand without having to expend any energy to get it. You can change this by having a family discussion about working to earn money. If they are old enough, show your children your pay slip and your budget. Explain to them how each dollar you earn goes towards expenses or saving for the future. Let them make the link between your long hours at the office and the money that they wish to spend frivolously.

Encourage their entrepreneurial spirit by helping them to look for opportunities to earn extra money. One client recounted when she was only six years old, in response to her father’s talks about making money, she tried to sell oranges to her friends at school for profit. When she realized that her schoolmates were not interested in the whole oranges, she had the bright idea to sell them in quarters. This time she was successful, and actually made more money than she would have if she had sold them whole. Today, she is still involved in entrepreneurial ventures, thanks to her early money programming.

Want to raise money-smart kids? CLICK HERE!

2.  Money can multiply

Hand in hand with a discussion about working for money, should be a lesson about money working for you. Explain to your children that they can earn interest (more money) when they put away some of their money in the bank. An easy way to do this is to have them save coins in a piggy bank and when it’s full, match their savings by giving them ‘interest’. Open bank or credit union accounts as soon as they have accumulated enough savings and let them keep their bank books so that they can see the interest being added to their accounts.

You can download a savings calculator at www.financiallysmartonline.com, which your children can use to play around with different savings amounts, interest rates and time periods to see how fast their money can grow. You can explain that this is called the magic of compounding. The value being taught is that there is a reward when you defer spending and instead choose to invest. By putting away a little of what you had planned to spend now, you will have much more to enjoy in the future.

3.   Money should be shared

Heavy consumerism brings a ‘me-first’ attitude in our children, where they are only concerned with all the goodies they want. Encourage an early spirit of philanthropy by asking them to donate a toy or item of clothing for every new one they receive. Have them actually take their donations to a children’s home where they can give them to the less fortunate children. Help them to realize how lucky they are and how to be content with what they already have.

Read stories of the good works of wealthy people like Oprah Winfrey and Bill Gates, and our own Jamaican philanthropists such as Ferdinand Mahfood, who have made a big difference in the lives of many people around the world. This will also help them to understand that we all have a duty to assist each other in society.

Photo attribution: http://www.seniorliving.org/

Copyright Cherryl Hanson Simpson

Cherryl is a money coach and the founder of Financially S.M.A.R.T. Services, Jamaica’s number one source for practical answers to all money questions. Cherryl is currently writing The 3 M’s of Money. See more of her work at www.financiallyfreenetwork.comand www.financiallysmartadvice.com

Kid ‘N’ Play JA is an online resource for parents.  We share information on children’s activities and attractions, fun ideas to engage with your children, parent and kid’s articles, promotions and giveaways and so much more.  Experience us at www.kidnplayja.com, Like us on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/kidnplayja and Follow us on Twitter @kidnplayja.  Join our conversation as we build a strong community of parents around our children.

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You remember the good ol’ days?  When travelling was fun and exciting.  When you planned your outfit and always tried to look good to get on the plane.  Enter September 11, 2001, World Trade Centre and Bin Ladin!  Puull Up!  Draw breaks!  Stop!  Those really were the good old days.  No more of that.  Now with airport screening, travelling has become such a pain.  Add travelling with kids to that and your stress level doubles!  In addition to the security checks, you are praying your child won’t be the one screaming the entire flight.  Trus’ me I know that feeling first hand.  Sometimes you wonder if you really have to take the trip.  I have found however that with a little planning, OK, a lot of planning, air travel can be manageable… most times anyway.

I have two sons and we love to travel.  We have family all over the place and enjoy visiting them.  I’ll share some of the things we do and hopefully you can find a few gems that you can incorporate to make your next trip more enjoyable.  Our elder son is a breeze now, I tell you, it gets better.  He is almost eight years old, so very independent and has traveled several times, so he knows exactly what to do now.

1. His own carry-on- From he was about four or five years old, I would pack his little knapsack or pulley bag with stuff that he would play with on the plane.
2. Items to include-It always had his charged DVD player and movies, playing cards like Go-Fish and Old Maid, little games that we can fold up and put the pieces in Ziploc bags, colouring books and crayons, snacks and a change of clothes.  Now that he is older he is responsible for packing to ensure it has exactly what he wants.
3. Check-I just check it to make sure there are no items that will be confiscated eg. scissors etc.  This little bag is great and usually keeps him occupied the entire flight.

The baby now is a whole other BEAST!  And I do mean BEAST.  He is eleven months and this is really where the anxiety happens and planning has to kick in.

1. Limit the stuff in your hands-Only have your baby and his baby bag if possible.
2. Gate check the gear-Use the stroller as long as possible, so take it with you up to the gate and then just break it down at the plane doors.  I have never carried the car seat on board, I have always checked that in at the counter.  I understand though that if you can take it on board, the infant is the safest in the car seat.  If the seat beside you is empty, perfect!  Keep the baby in the car seat right beside you.
3. In the baby bag have rattles, blankets, snacks, food-tons of it especially if you are not nursing, just in case there is a flight delay, diapers, wipes, juice, change of clothes (I usually have 2 sets).  Put your personal items in one section-travel documents, wallet etc.
4. Time the nap-I am a firm believer in having a sleep schedule.  More on that in a later post.  Anyway, try to time it so that while you are in the air it will be sleep time.  It may not work but it’s worth a try.
5. Nurse/feed during take-off and landing-This is  a BIGGIE!  You have to get their jaws moving to prevent the pressure in their ears from building up.  That can be extremely painful and that can lead to a poor screaming baby!  Word of advice, wait until  the plane is actually “running” down the tarmac.  If you start too early, they can be taxiing for a long time and your baby could finish the “feeding” before the plane takes off.  Not good.  Been there, done that!

I used all of these tips when he was between four and eight months.  Trips were from two hours to four hours in duration.  Gotta tell you the trip went pretty smoothly on the first leg, not so easy on the return leg.  But hey, these are babies right.  It’s all trial and error.

I have to tell you though we have another trip in a few weeks for summer and I admit I am a little anxious.  He is at the age where he now wants to do his own thing.  He doesn’t really want to be held, but  instead explore his surroundings on the floor.  He can’t walk yet, but tries every day.

I just hope he won’t be the screaming kid on the four hour plane ride and I know you hope you aren’t on that  flight either!

What suggestions do you have for traveling with infants?  I am going to need them.  Share them here please.

More travel tips:

Travel Tips: Eliminate Stress For Kids And Parents

Photo: uggboy

The Kid ‘N’ Play Jamaica blog is a part of the Kid ‘N’ Play JA network. Kid ‘N’ Play JA is an online resource for parents.  We share information on children’s activities and attractions, fun ideas to engage with your children, parent and kid’s articles, promotions and giveaways and so much more.  Experience us at www.kidnplayja.com, Like us on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/kidnplayja and Follow us on Twitter @kidnplayja.  Join our conversation as we build a strong community of parents around our children.

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Summer vacay is merely days away.  I’m looking forward to it probably as much as my 7  year old son.  No lunches to make, no mad rush in the mornings through the traffic to get to school and not as much taxi duty for me!  Hallelujah!! Even though I am embracing the relaxed mode of summer holidays for my son, I am committed to preventing the “Summer slide”.  In a previous post, I spoke about getting your children to read during the lazy days of summer.

One of the ideas suggested was joining a book club.  This is a great way to make reading fun.  If done right, your children will look forward to reading their books so they can attend the book club fun days.  With creativity and these 5 steps, there should be tons of reading fun this summer.

1. Decide on the book club members- It can be friends, schoolmates or even some new friends similar in age.  Ask your friends to bring a friend if your numbers are small.  I think a group of about 5 is a good number.  Not too big where it becomes hard to control, and small enough so all are involved.
2. Logistics-Decide how often the group will meet.  Usually once a month is good.  Make up a schedule of who will host each meeting and rotate homes.
3. Choose the book-There are several great children’s books around, ask friends  for suggestions.  Education.com’s suggested books are categorized by age and grade hand- chosen on several criteria. Check it out here, it is quite extensive.  While these are great, remember to expose your children to works by Jamaican and Caribbean authors.  We have great talent on our shores who do a fabulous job telling our story.   I am a huge fan of the Little Lion series by Kellie Magnus and children love the music in Reggae Pickney’s Shaggy Parrot. Click here to enter for a chance to win a free copy.  Stay tuned for a second installment from Reggae Pickney this summer 2011.  Depending on their age, learning about money with Money Basics For Kids is also a great option.  Let the children have input in the choice.  (Minimize all possible excuses for not reading)
4. Questions- The host can think up a few questions to start the discussion and move it along.  Some could be: Who was you favourite character? Why? Did you learn anything ?  What would you do if that were you?  What was you favourite part? etc.
5. Fun activity-Decide on an activity to do after you talk about the book.  Maybe a craft that goes with the theme of the book.  They could come dressed as their favourite character or they could act out a scene.  The options are just limited to your (or your child’s)  imagination.

Remember to keep these gatherings FUN! Not too structured or strict.

If you try these 5 Easy steps to starting a book club, I would love to hear if it worked for you.  Just drop me a line in the Comments below.  Anything else you do to keep your children reading over the summer?  Would love to hear about it!

Happy reading!

The Kid ‘N’ Play Jamaica blog is a part of the Kid ‘N’ Play JA network. Kid ‘N’ Play JA is an online resource for parents.  We share information on children’s activities and attractions, fun ideas to engage with your children, parent and kid’s articles, promotions and giveaways and so much more.  Experience us at www.kidnplayja.com, Like us on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/kidnplayja and Follow us on Twitter @kidnplayja.  Join our conversation as we build a strong community of parents around our children.

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Contributed by Jamaica Association of Professionals in Nutrition and Dietetics (JAPINAD)

A Guide for Parents & Caregivers

So your child is a picky eater, you are not alone. All children go through phases when it seems as if food is their biggest enemy. But how do we get through those phases without the power struggles?  The ages of 3-6 years are critical for forming life long eating behaviours.

While ensuring that our children gain the balanced nutrition they need to grow healthily, we should help them develop a healthy relationship with food to last a lifetime.

Parents and caregivers must first bear two very important points in mind.

1) Children eat when they are hungry, and rarely do when they are not.

2) Children go through periods of accelerated growth, and periods of little growth. Their appetites will be less during periods of little growth.

With these points in mind, here are some tips for handling picky eaters:

• Respect Hunger: It’s much less frustrating to feed your child when he/she is hungry rather than forcing the child to eat whenyou want them to eat.
• Small Portions: Offer your child small portions. A child’s stomach is much smaller than yours, so they eat smaller amounts at any given time.
• Avoid stereotyping foods. It does not matter to a child when to eat a particular food, and there is nothing nutritionally wrong with eating cereal and milk at night.

Food should not be used as a reward or punishment. This may cause children to avoid some foods because they associate them with something negative. On the other hand, some foods become ‘comfort foods’ that we turn to even in adulthood to alleviate stressful situations thus leading to obesity.

Remove Distractions: Turn the television and computer off during mealtimes. Remove toys and any other distractions from the eating area.  Being attuned to the variety of tastes from food will help the child to appreciate the varied healthy properties later on.

Eat with your child. Children do what they see others do. This works especially well when your child eats with other children.

Be creative with vegetables. If your child won’t eat vegetables, try incorporating them into foods the child likes. You may add cooked veggies to rice, or meat. Allow your child to dip raw veggies in peanut butter, jellies, yogurt or cheese spread if they like. The dips should be closely monitored as this may lead to increase weight gain

Young children, particularly toddlers have erratic eating patterns. They may eat a variety of foods one day then eat almost nothing the next! Don’t despair, it is more important for a child to achieve nutritional balance over a one week period, than in just one day. As children grow older, they settle into a routine of meals and snacks.

Drink it: If your child is not in the mood for eating, make their beverage more nourishing by adding key ingredients such as fruits, vegetables, peanut butter, yogurt or milk to serve as a tasty, nutritious liquid meal. This should only be an occasional solution however since drinking does not replace the benefits of chewing.  Overuse of high calorie drinks eventually leads to overweight.

Be Patient: Try to remain calm or else you will frustrate yourself and your toddler and nobody will be happy.

As long as your child is energetic, happy, and growing well, don’t fret!

Jamaica Association of Professionals in Nutrition and Dietetics (JAPINAD)

E-mail: japinad@yahoo.com or nutritionjamaica@hotmail.com

Telephone: 977-4616, P.O. Box 227, Mona, Kingston 7

The Kid N Play Jamaica blog is a part of the Kid N Play JA network. Kid ‘N’ Play JA is an online resource for parents.  We share information on children’s activities and attractions, fun ideas to engage with your children, parent and kid’s articles, promotions and giveaways and so much more.  Experience us at www.kidnplayja.com, Like us on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/kidnplayja and Follow us on Twitter @kidnplayja.  Join our conversation as we build a strong community of parents around our children.

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As parents we want to capture every moment of our children’s lives.  From chronicling the maternal journey of pregnancy through birth, the toddler years, first day at school, lost teeth, kid’s activities, family time at the beach, and on and on.  I know very well how that goes.  I am one of those mother’s always with a camera.  I love photography.  You know the funny thing, my friends tease me for always taking pictures (not necessarily of my children), they call me Papparazzi, but they always want to see my pictures…go figure!  :)  I love capturing these precious moments of  life experiences and loved ones.  When time permits, I always enjoy looking through the pictures and remembering the fun times and events.  Not to mention capturing the growth and development of my sons.  It sure is fun.

With what seems like everybody now owning a digital camera, I thought I’d share a few photography tips from a professional photographer, Steve James,  to help us capture those precious moments with our children.

1.  Experiment with different angles

Try to get down to the baby’s or child’s level.  This allows for better eye to eye contact and keeps their bodies in proportion.   Try laying down or standing on a chair or step.  The more angles you experiment with the more interesting shot you will have.

2. Use natural light

Whenever possible use natural light.  This will make your pictures look vibrant and airy.   Also be aware of the shadows that may be cast depending on the time of day. If you are going to be shooting outside do so in the early morning or late afternoon, where the light is softer and the shadow will not be as harsh.   The mid day sun can cast shadows and cause your subjects to squint which will not  photograph well.  So if you have to shoot at noon time, look for some shaded areas.

3. Get your baby’s or child’s attention

Use their favourite toy or something that is colouful to get their attention.  Snap as they reach out for the toy or while they are engaged. You will see many great emotions and facial expressions as they play.  Whistling or making a sound may also be helpful.

4. Action shots

Some of the most memorable shots are action shots.  Children are quick so you have to quick on the draw too.  Embrace those terrible twos and “the getting into everything” stage.  Try to catch them when they are walking, dancing, playing sports or expressing themselves after doing something.  Maybe even catch them just as they are about to “commit a crime”, like just about to lift up the toilet seat and throw the toys in!!! (can you tell, first hand experience)

5. Use simple backgrounds

Complicated backgrounds will detract from your subject.  The eyes won’t know where to rest or what to focus on. Your child is the main focus of the shot and you want to keep it that way.  Use solid backgrounds and make sure there are no UFOs (Unwanted Foreign Objects) behind your subject eg. bicycles, paintings or random persons.

Hope these tips will help you enjoy capturing great  memories with your families.  Do you have any other photography tips to add?  I’d love to share them.  Just add them in the comments below.

The Kid ‘N’ Play Jamaica blog is a part of the Kid ‘N’ Play JA network. Kid ‘N’ Play JA is an online resource for parents.  We share information on children’s activities and attractions, fun ideas to engage with your children, parent and kid’s articles, promotions and giveaways and so much more.  Experience us at www.kidnplayja.com, Like us on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/kidnplayja and Follow us on Twitter @kidnplayja.  Join our conversation as we build a strong community of parents around our children.

Steve James Photography, is the  NEW face of hospital baby portraiture.  As an experienced freelance photographer, Steve captures your baby’s first photograph with a natural artistic style.  You can contact Steve through his website: www.semiyah.com

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