Life Lessons For Conscious Living

The eye never has enough of seeing, nor the ear its fill of hearing. What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.
King Solomon

The wisest man that ever lived once said, “all is vanity and vexation of spirit.”

After looking back over his life, and all that he had accomplished, Solomon concluded that all was meaningless.

Yet here we are, over 3000 years later still pursuing the meaningless things of this world.

Everything you have now or every hope to achieve is meaningless.

If that is the case, why then do we try so hard to acquire so much materially, and spend so little time focusing on the things that matter— the man on the inside?

The human spirit will never be satisfied. We have become weary and tired from chasing our wildest dreams and desires. Yet still no matter how much we see, hear or achieve we are never content. There is always something else on the horizon for us to conquer. We have allowed society to deceive us into thinking that if we are not apart of the group looking to achieve more, then somehow something is wrong with us.

What do you have to show for your hard work?

Stress.

Anxiety.

Panic attack.

Debt.

Unhappiness.

We work so hard, and instead of living comfortably,we are living like paupers. We live above our means, thinking unconsciously  that we have to keep up with the Joneses.

But I have some terrible news for you, the Joneses have just filed bankruptcy.

Mr. Jones is on suicide watch, and Mrs. Jones was last seen at the pawn shop, pawning her fancy jewelry to feed the kids.

We have allowed society to dictate to us what we should and should not have. We have become blinded to the truth. Yet for many that is the way they choose to continue to live.

I have learned so much about life.

I realize that the pursuit of happiness is a myth. Nothing on the outside of self can truly make you happy. We constantly compare ourselves to others only to find out that they too are comparing them self to someone else.

No one is better than you. We all have the same blood flowing through our veins, and no matter how much money a person have, one day they too must die and leave it all behind.

A person will be remembered for their contribution after they are gone.

What am I really trying to say?

You might be stressed out right now about not having enough money to pay the bills, someone special in your life or what ever else you think you need.

Just for a moment, might I suggest that you change your perspective about what you think you need. Have you ever really stop to think about what you are thinking about or what is causing all this senseless stress?

Have you ever stop to consider what the worse thing that could happen, only to realize that you will be able to bounce back as long as you still have life?

Get away from all the noise and chatter going on around you.

Simplify! Simplify! Simplify!

You will only begin to find meaning for your life after putting everything into perspective. Get rid of all the extra “stuff” that you think defines you.

Peel away the layers of excess.

Get rid of dead relationships.

Drop bad habits and cultivate healthier new ones.

Having worked so hard to acquire much things, I realized the more I had the greater my sorrows.

I too, like Solomon, have come to one conclusion.

All is vanity and vexation of spirit.

I thought it would have been hard to start over, but the truth is, there is a peace that comes with living a simple life. I wouldn’t trade your Gucci purse, mansion or Rolls Royce  for my  peace.

I am content with what I have and confident about where I am going.

What about you. How are you currently dealing with all the things going on in your world?

Positive Affirmation: Today I will take a good look at my life. I will make a conscious decision to face the things I have been afraid to face and put things in perspective.

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“We don’t yet fully understand the power that we hold. We have the power to change. The power to overcome. The Power to be brilliant. The power to hope and believe that anything we set our mind to is possible.”
Kymarie McEwan

As I sit here reflecting upon my life and the wisdom that I now use to guide me, I realized something— life is simple. It’s us, the complex beings that we are, who have an innate desire to make life much more difficult than it is. We can’t always change our experiences, but we can sure change the way we deal with them. Disappointments are inevitable, but discouragement is a choice.

As you go through this day, may you be inspired, and choose to embrace these simple wisdom.

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“As your faith is strengthened, you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit.”
Emmanuel Teney

I started this blog because I had this crazy idea that I could help others by sharing with them my life struggles. The optimist in me wants to believe that others need to know that they are not alone in whatever they are going through. However, what I have now found to be true, is that it is way easier to encourage others when everything is flowing smoothly and according to plan.

The past week has been emotionally challenging for me. Every time I pick up the pen to write I go blank. I needed someone to encourage me. I was emotionally drained and tired. Then I thought to myself, this is the perfect time to write. I can truly share my heart and somehow find the strength I needed to carry on. After all, positive energy is needed when you feel like there is nothing to be positive about.

Have yo ever wished someone else could feel the pain that you feeling? That way you don’t have to try and explain anything to anyone. I wish you could feel my pain, but then again you have your own pain so I won’t burden you down with mine. Maybe this article is just for my eyes only, but you are more than welcome to listen in on what is going on behind the scenes.

I have tried so hard to do my best. But is seems like my best is not good enough. Looking around all I see are my many failures. Disappointments, setbacks and obstacles. The more I try, is the more I fail. At what point will it be alright to consider myself a failure?

Could this be a test, or a sick practical joke? Where are the hidden cameras?

Sometimes I just don’t feel like I can make it through another day. So if this is a test or a practical joke I am not in the mood. The pain I feel on the inside is worse than the labor pain I felt giving birth to my daughter. At least, when the pain got to be too unbearable the doctor had compassion on me by giving me a dose of epidural to numb the pain. No such luck this time. I have to endure this pain, and drink from this bitter cup. My tears keep failing like the pouring rain, it would stop for a minute and then start again. My sky is over cast, grey clouds cover the sun for a brighter tomorrow, and the howling winds keep whispering, “this gloominess is to be your faith.”

I have had more losses than I care to remember. I started out on this quest to pursue my passion and make a living doing what I love most–photography. But it has not easy, I am not getting as much business as I need and I am struggling to market myself to a wider audience. Partly because the insecure side of me, keeping letting me know I am not as good as the other established photographers. Now I am faced with this dilemma of going back to what appears to be save, a 9-5. Wow! after all I have been through, I am considering quitting on my dreams yet again. I promised myself the last time that I would not give up on myself again. It’s easy to quit,and I have given up too many times before. Based on my track record, people expect me to quit when things get ruff –there has to be a better solution to my dilemma that quitting!

My mind is on a emotionally roller coaster. I can’t stop the tears from falling. I am having panic attacks. I am consumed by fear and anxiety, to make matters worse I have to struggle and walk this lonely road alone.

Can anyone even see me, or see the pain?

I don’t think so.

I get to understand that when people look at me, all they see is the confident woman that I suppose to be. They don’t see the struggles going on on the inside as I navigate my way through my many changes.

I am stuck in an emotional vortex of what should have been and what could be. This wasn’t the life I planned.

I wish I could run away, but to where?  Anywhere I go, I still have to carry my luggage of pain. I don’t want to, but it is mine.

I was born of a woman. Got an education. Had all my wishes come through. Had my world shattered into pieces. Now I have to pick up the fragments of my life and start all over again.

Can someone help me?

I am scared.

Can I do this again?

Do I have enough wind beneath my wings to soar again like an eagle?

These are the questions I ask myself.

What keeps me going, when I don’t want to get out of bed? 

My faith. I don’t know how some people make it without believing in a power higher than them self. If I am to be totally honest, I don’t think I would want to keep living if I didn’t have the hope and assurance that even though weeping may endure for a long time, joy is sure to come in the morning. Looking back on everything, life is so much more than what I thought it should be. For a long time, I measured my self worth based on what I had, my station in life and who I was with.

I thought my world would have ended when my marriage came to an end. I talk about it a lot because, that was what I used as my measuring stick of having made it. As a little girl, all I wanted was to be called Mrs. in addition to having the house, car and children. If I had all those things. I was good. But here I am 6 years later divorced and living the single life again. I get very lonely sometimes. I wish I had someone to call me baby and tell me how he loves me, but that is not my reality now. I just refuse to get involved with another person, just because I don’t want to be alone. When the right person comes along for me, he will be able to find a woman that is whole and complete. The things that use to bother me in my relationship don’t anymore. Being single have afforded me the  opportunity to put things in perspective. At the end of the day, I have to ask myself, will this all matter in a week, or is this argument worth staying mad over? So much more I have learned about love, that I will share with you some other time. But for now, I will leave you with this – choose your battles. Decide if what you have is worth fighting for.

There are so many things that have been revealed to me as a result of the trying times I have to live through. Lessons, I would not have known had I not walked this road. I don’t always feel like carrying on, but giving up is not an option for me today. Things will get better for me and for you. Like nature we too have to go through our seasons. Sometimes it seems like winter will never leave, but one day the snow must melt and make room for spring.

In the midst of your pain, take courage, your break through is on its way. Choose to stand even when your strength is gone. You might stumble a few more times, but don’t give up. Keep crying if you have to, but don’t stop hoping and believing for a brighter tomorrow. Nothing that is happening right now is by chance. There is things you need to learn from your trials, but in the end, all things will work together for your good.

If this rambling of mine has some how inspired you, I would love to hear your thoughts. I am sure we can encourage each other as we go through our changing seasons.

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“Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.”

Happiness is an illusive desire. Well that is not entirely true. Happiness becomes an illusive desire when you keep thinking that the situations in your life has to be perfect before you allow yourself to be happy.

I was the most unhappy person I knew. If things didn’t go my way, I would be really unhappy. I didn’t like my job, I didn’t like being broke, I didn’t like how my relationship was going, I didn’t like the way I looked and because of that I would eat more and then be unhappy with myself for not having any self control. Gee! My life was a total mess, filled with stress anxiety and unhappiness. Something had to give and give fast or I would have exploded!

One day I had an awakening. I said to myself, “self, would I be any happier if I had everything my heart desired?”

After answering that question honestly, the truth of what it takes to be happy began to unfold.

How to be happy no matter your situation

Enjoy where you are right now. Every situation you go through in life  is a learning experience. Knowing this, you should not spend your time worrying about things that you have no power to change. You most definitely can’t bog down yourself with thoughts of tomorrow.  Focus all your efforts and concentrate on what is before you.

Express gratitude. Who would have thought that a simple expression of gratitude could help you to feel better. When you start to focus on what you have now, you will begin to realize that things are not all that bad.

Be optimistic about the future, while giving your full attention to the present. Everyday you get a new opportunity to be better than the day before. Keep hope alive by reminding yourself that this too shall pass.

Bloom where you are planted. Your situation doesn’t have to be  perfect before you start to take action. Right there in your mess, you can do what is possible in that moment until your change comes.

Make a difference in someone else’s life. I don’t know about you, but I am really happy whenever I get an opportunity to serve others. By focusing on bringing joy into others peoples’ lives, I intern receive joy for myself. The same will be true for you.

We know the truth. No one can make us happy. We have to choose every minute of the day to be happy no matter what is going on around us. And contrary to popular beliefs, happiness will never come as a result of what you have. Genuine happiness, is being willing to enjoy the simple pleasures of life, even when things are not perfect.

I wish for you peace, love, joy and HAPPINESS.

Positive Affirmation:  Today, I am choosing to be happy for the simple reason that I am alive.

How happy are you? Share with me your happiness techniques in the comment box below.

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“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

Love is a word that comes and go, but few people really knows what it means to really love somebody, much less them self. Many people are relationship addicts. If they are not in a relationship, they don’t feel good about them self. Relationship junkies are expecting to find in someone else what is already within.

I have consciously stayed out of a committed relationship for over 5 years after my marriage ended. It was not because I didn’t desire to be with someone else but after much self reflection, I realized that I had loved the man more than myself. What I was looking for in him, was searching for me–self love.

Love is not something to be found on the outside of oneself. Love is who you are.

What you believe about yourself, and how you express yourself is a direct reflection of your true belief about love. When you can get to a place where you can accept yourself for who you are, you will feel love. When you can forgive yourself for past mistakes and failures, you will experience love. When you can start to trust yourself, and tell yourself the truth no matter how the truth makes you feel, you will express love. When you can celebrate your worth, whether you are in a relationship or not, you become the embodiment of love. When you can accept your beauty for what it is, you will be ready for love.

Love is the co-operative, harmonizing,accepting,forgiving essence of your soul. By giving love to yourself first, you will realize that you won’t have a hard time giving it away to others freely.

You are love.

Love does not demand what it does not have. Love does not force itself on others in order to feel better about itself. Love does not attack or seek revenge. It does not withhold itself. Love is patient and kind.

You might have spent your whole life trying to figure out what love is and how to find it in your life. However just remember, you are the expression of love. To find the love you seek, you have to first find the love within yourself. Learn to rest in that place within you that is your true home–love.

Positive Affirmation: Today I am committed to knowing myself, express myself and experience myself as love.

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” Count it all joy, when you fall into various trials. Knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”
James 1:2-4 

The life story of Joseph, like ours clearly illustrates that God sometimes allows adversity to enter our lives so that He might accomplish a far greater purpose through us. Joseph’s father loved him more than all his other brothers, and as you can imagine, this caused some jealousy.

When Joseph was about 17 years old, he shared two dreams with his brothers. In the dreams he was the center of attention and they were bowing down to him. Joseph’s brothers were furious and wanted to kill him. However, not wanting to bring shame upon themselves, they decided to sell him into slavery.

Have you ever wondered to yourself why you had to be the one to go through the mess you are going through?

Well keep reading, I finally figured out why Joseph’s epic adventure has had such a profound impact on me.

Of all the merchants the brothers could have sold Joseph to, they selected the ones heading down to Egypt. When Joseph got to Egypt, of all the people who could have bought him, the captain of the King’s army did. Of all the women who could have accused Joseph of rape, the captain’s wife did landing him in jail. Of all the prison Joseph could have been in, he was placed in the one reserved for the king’s prisoners. A coincidence? I don’t think so.

The irony of it all though is that in spite of his adversity, wherever Joseph went he found favor.

While in prison, Joseph correctly interpreted the dreams of the King’s two servants. He hoped his position would have changed when the dreams were proven true. But no sooner had the servant gotten out of jail he forgot Joseph. It wasn’t until two years later when the King needed someone to interpret his troubling dreams did the man remember Joseph(Genesis 39-41).

It took a minute. But at the right time God reversed Joseph’s circumstance. Everything leading up to that moment was preparation. To fulfill God’s ultimate purpose, Joseph had to be sold into slavery and go to prison. If you think about it, how else would  Joseph have gotten to the place he needed to be ?

After Joseph interpreted the King’s dream, he rose to prominence in Egypt. With his new position of power and authority, Joseph was not only able to save his family from famine, but an entire nation!

Looking back over Joseph’s life, we realize that God was in control all along. Nothing had happen to him outside of God’s permissive will and divine plan. Even though it required him enduring 12 long years of darkness and pain. I am sure, there must have been days when he wondered what  he had done to deserve the things that were happening to him and must have questioned whether or not his own prophetic dream was a figment of his imagination. Whatever might have crossed his mind, it is evident that God was in control.

What about you? What are you having to endure during this season of your life? Your story might be different from that of Joseph’s, however God’s plan for your life is still the same. There is a greater good that has to be lived out through your life. But you know what happens most time, as a result of not fully understanding God’s will and purpose for our lives, we walk out of His will and try to make things happen on our own turn. Understand this, when God is in the process of redirecting your life, sometimes He delays meeting certain needs. He sees the big picture. We only get to live the story of our lives one sentence at a time. Most times it is not until we get to the end of a book, before we understand what was happening all along.

Trust God with your life, you might not be able to make sense of what is happening now, but the events will work themselves out  for a far greater purpose. One that will only bring blessing to your life, but also to the lives of others.

Positive Affirmation: Today I will prayerfully ask God to teach me how to wait and trust Him in the midst of my afflictions.

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“We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.”
Joseph Campbell

Take it from me. Starting over is never an easy thing, no matter what anyone might tell you. It takes courage, and perseverance to break free from the negative cycle of bad habits, or to leave behind the familiar for the unknown. However, there comes a point when you just have to pull yourself up by your bootstrap and do what is required to turn your life around. For me, the longer I kept resisting the changing season of my life, the deeper I sank into the quick sand of despair.

If you are feeling as though your life is going nowhere, don’t feel sorry for yourself. Let today be the day that you choose to turn your life around. Below I have listed a few simple changes you can implement right now!

To Turn Your Life Around:

• Do what you are afraid to do – Most of the time we do not experience the things we desire to have in our lives because of the fear that hold us back. When you start any new venture, things will not perfect, but take baby steps. Commit to gaining more knowledge about whatever it is that you are venturing into. The more knowledge you gain, the more confident you will be.

• Refuse to give up –Commit fully to the change that you intend to implement in your life. Give yourself time, you will make mistakes and fail many times along the way, but no matter what. DON’T Quit!

• Speak life – Don’t allow fear and despair to rob you of your voice. Speak life into every dead situation and believe that change is on its way. Focus all your energy on what you want.

• Remove all dead weight – Let go of dead relationships. Dead friendships. Unforgiveness. Resentment. Regrets. Whatever you have been using as a crutch to stay stuck in your present situation. LET IT Go!

• Identify the mental blocks holding you back – In order to move forward, you have to identify what from your past is holding you hostage. For me it was fear and insecurity. What is it for you?

• Think about someone else – When you focus your efforts on helping others achieve their goals. Not only will you be doing something good for someone else, but also opening the doors of your own life, allowing abundance to flow in. Put others first, and you win every time.

• Find a mentor – It is scary starting over or embarking upon a new venture. However, by seeking out a mentor that is willing to teach you what they know, your learning curve will be drastically diminished.

• Think positively about yourself – It is never someone else holding you down. It’s your thinking process that does. You have to BELIEVE in yourself  and have the confidence to follow through on the tasks that needs to be done.

• Be Humble – For me this might be one of, if not the most important point. When you are humble, you will be better able to successfully navigate life challenges. Humility prevents you from being attached to any outcome. Leaving you the freedom to enjoy the journey, on the way to your destination.

• Follow Your Passion – Do what you love in life and the money will come. It is just that simple.

Positive Affirmation: Today I open the windows of my heart so that I can welcome all that is possible for my life.

 
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” We seldom think of what we have, but always on what we don’t have.”

It is most unfortunate, that most people only start living after they have had a near death experience or some other unfortunate tragedy.

I would be lying, if I told you that I have not allowed life events to get in my way sometimes. From time to time, I allow myself the briefest of moment to feel sorry for myself. Like most, I have more bills than money and this major inconvenience leaves me rather frustrated.

Recently however, I met a lady who had me checking the authenticity of my melancholy. This lady was blind in both eyes. Her family also recently found out that her husband has stage three cancer, which is rapidly spreading to his spine. The man who once took care of her, she has to now be taking care of and she can’t see. While talking to me, not once did she complain or feel sorry for herself or her situation. Her faith in God, has given her the courage and the confidence to believe that He (God) is able to not only restore her sight, but also heal her husband.

I felt so ashamed of myself. If she can be happy, cheerful and optimistic in her situation, I can certainly do the same in mine. Sometimes it is not until you hear about other people’s story before you realize how blessed you are. The mere fact that you have fresh drinking water and food to eat is a tremendous blessing.

Seriously, stop what you are doing right now and ask yourself this simple question. “What on earth, am I worried about?“ I guarantee  that if you were to examine your situation closely, you will realize that it is comparatively unimportant and insignificant to what some others have to be enduring.

You might be saying, Kymarie, you just don’t understand. My house is in foreclosure and I don’t know what to do. That might be the case, but when you are tempted to worry, ask yourself another question.” If I was to lose the house, would I be homeless and would this be the end of the world?” If you can answer NO to these questions, then you should be  counting your blessings.

I want to say with confidence, taking our current situation into consideration. 95% of the things in our lives are good, and only 5% are bad. If we are to be happy, we have to cultivate the habit of focusing on those things which are good. Think about all the things that you should be grateful for and thank God for all His benefits.I am positive that if someone were to offer you right now a billion dollar for your two eyes, one of your legs and a couple of fingers, you would turn that person down so fast, they would think you were Usain Bolt the Jamaican sprinter and world record holder.

Don’t wait until something bad happens before you begin to show appreciation. Resolve in your heart that you will only think thoughts that are good. Thoughts of joy, happiness, peace, health, well wishes for others and prosperity. Force yourself each morning to wake up with your heart filled with gratitude, and go over all the things you are grateful for.

I am grateful that I have eyes to see. Ears to hear. Good health. Food to eat. Clean water to drink. Light to illuminate my path. Wonderful family and friends. A beautiful daughter. A great relationship with my ex-husband. The ability to walk unaided and a mouth to express gratitude.

“The habit of looking on the best side of everything is worth more than all the money you could ever have in this world.”

Positive Affirmation: Today I will count my blessing and not my troubles.

Did you find this post inspiring? Please share it with others and leave a comment, letting me know what you are grateful for.

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“You nor I will ever be able to successfully navigate life’s journey without divine guidance and a plan to take us from where we are to where we should be.”
Kymarie McEwan 

You may or may not currently have a blue print for your life. However, if you do, and it is based solely on what you can achieve materially, something is majorly wrong with that plan. You are so much more than what you have, or what you do for a living. No wonder there are so many people who are miserable and depressed. They keep looking at what others have achieved and enviously wishing it was them. Please don’t misunderstand what I am saying, nothing is wrong with desiring or having nice things, but it should not define you. For many people, if  they  were to lose it all, they would lose their mind, all because they used material things and status to define their identity.

For over a year now I have been watching a church being built. What is so amazing about this process is that every minute detail has to be followed based on the specification of the blue print. The blue print provides the contractor with the detail plan for the building and any deviation from the plan can be detrimental to the successful completion of the building. Our lives are no different, the reason for so many failed lives, are as a result of not taking the necessary time out to prayerfully contemplate our divine purpose. Many of us don’t have a clear vision of where we are headed or who we want to be. That job you have, is that really what you want to be doing for the rest of your life? The business venture you are currently in, is it in alignment with your core beliefs or values. Or are you just try a “thing” hoping it will work out?

I really don’t belief in the hype of making new years resolutions. The day a person chooses to turn their life around, is the real start of  their  new year. We all need a blue print for our lives, in addition to formulating a clear statement of intention regarding what we desire to experience within ourselves and follow through with the actionable steps we need to take in order to make those things happen. Many people love to plan, but few are willing to take action.

Take a really honest look at where you are, and how you got there. Is this the place you want to be spiritually, emotionally, financially or physically? if not, act now and eliminate all that needs to go and replace them with the things needed to facilitate your moving forward.

Positive Affirmation: Today, I owe it to myself to take stock of my life. I deserve to be so much better than who I am currently being. I will make a change in my thinking and take the necessary actions to follow my dreams.

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“There are two mistakes one can make along the road
to truth – not going all the way, and not starting.”

At 12 am, January 1st, 2012, you made the transition from what was old, and entered into the season of new beginnings. Your life is about to change, and change for the better. However, the only prerequisite for this change is that you free yourself from last year’s failures and disappointments.

I know there must have been times when you thought this new season would never come, and yet it is here, with you being in a position to receive all the blessings associated with it. Today you have this amazing opportunity to turn your life around and live a life full of endless possibilities.

You might be weary from attending the school of hard knocks, but through our joint efforts, we will take this journey together, supporting each other along the way. I can’t say this enough, but you were never created to live an unfulfilled, miserable or unsuccessful life. Success is yours, happiness is yours, dreams realized is yours, peace of mind is yours. In essence all that is good and desirable is yours for the taking. You carry within you the pilot light of hope, and no matter how challenging life gets, the light within you refuses to die.

Even though we know all this, yet still we continue to suffer, and live below our God given potential.

Why?

As painful as the answer might be, the truth is we just don’t know how to use what we have to make our dreams come through. Our short comings haunts us, as we see others living a better life. We struggle because even with all of our education, no one ever taught us how to motivate ourselves, set goals, deal with adversity and defeats,  build confidence or even how to do the things that we are afraid to do. We had to learns these things on our own through trials and errors. The fact that you have made it this far without having cultivated all the necessary skills needed to succeed in life and work is a testament of your courage and faith.

For the next 52 weeks you will continue to learn and discover life changing principles that will drastically improve your life should you choose to apply them. No one else can live your life for you, and unfortunately, no one can pay the price of achievement that only you alone have to pay.

As we move forward, take the time to prayerfully reflect upon your life. Without self-reflection, it will be almost impossible for you to learn and grow into your authentic and powerful-self. There is more of you waiting to unfold.

Positive Affirmation: Today I will look within myself without judgement or guilt. I will acknowledge where I am right now in my life, knowing that I will pay the price necessary to reach my full potential.

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