Jamaica kam

Overheard at the Dentist’s Office

Dental Hygienist:  Hi Karl!  How was your Christmas?  Wait, I almost forget that you don’t celebrate Christmas.  Why don’t you celebrate Christmas, again?  Is it because your maternal side is Jewish?

Karl: To the contrary, I was born Jewish (maternal) but I don’t practice Judaism.  In actuality, I don’t celebrate Christmas based on my Pentecostal upbringing on my paternal side.  Christmas is a celebration of Paganism, “Babylonianism” and commercialism.

Dental Hygienist:  So, Karl, are you a practicing Christian?

Karl:  Not quite….  I need to overcome one vice.

Dental Hygienist: One vice?

Karl: Yeah, one vice….

Dental Hygienist:  Why do I have the feeling that I know what vice you’re speaking of?  Hmmm….  By the way, you’re due for a dental X-ray.

Karl:  OK

Dental Hygienist: <After taking the X-ray> Karl, you have beautiful teeth. They are very beautiful.  You are from Kingston, Jamaica, correct?

Karl: Yeah

Dental Hygienist: No wonder, you are able to get the fluoride in your water.  In Manchester, Jamaica, we didn’t have the same luxury.  There wasn’t any running water.  We would catch rainwater in a cement cistern for our water.  The rainwater tasted better than the tap water but, of course, bad for your teeth.

Karl:  Interesting….  I observed that in Kingston there was never any water outage.  However, at my grandparents’ house in the country, there were water outages from time to time.  They used to keep drums of water in the yard to mitigate the outages.

Dental Hygienist:  Are you speaking of your paternal grandparents?  Where were they from?

Karl: They were living in Ewarton, St. Catherine; close to the Alcan Bauxite….

Dental Hygienist:  OK….  You know that they closed Alcan.

Karl:  Yep….  So, how did you spend your day, yesterday?

Dental Hygienist: It was great!  I ate a lot of Black cake.  Do you bake?  Unfortunately, I am not a good baker.  My sister baked two cakes for me.  They are very tasty.

Karl:  Black cakes have to be done just right.  Some black cakes are soft and pudgy like putty.  And some are too dry like cardboard or sawdust.   They have to be baked just right with the white rum hitting it just right.

Dental Hygienist:  You’re so right.

Dentist: Hi Karl!

Karl: Hi Doc!

Dentist: You have almost 0% plaque.  You have great teeth.  I’ll just polish and clean them.  However, you are doing fine.

Karl: Thank you, Doc!

Dentist: How old are you now, Karl?

Karl: <I gave him my age.> Each year you get older until you’re at death’s door.  As per the adage, time flies as you get older….

Dentist: <Laughing out loud> Yes, Karl!  We will be dying soon or in due time.  Did you watch the “Seinfeld” episode where the main characters coupled up with an older person?  And, George, of course, coupled up with an 83 year old senior citizen.  And George said to him, ‘At 83 years of age, don’t you feel like a walking ticking time bomb who might go off at any minute?  I meant that right now as we are dining you might just keel over on him and kick the bucket.  And the older man said to him that he doesn’t want to talk to him, anymore.’

Karl: <LOL> I didn’t see it but I will be sure to YouTube it, later.



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