A New Conspiracy Theory

trump

 

Americans (and Jamaicans and Canadians and everyone else) seem to love conspiracy theories, so I have come up with a juicy one that I will share with you today.

I suspect Donald Trump is a plant. A Democrat in Republican clothing. A Trojan horse.

Imagine this scenario.

Bill Clinton phones his old buddy Donald Trump, a long-time Democrat (shown above playing golf together), and suggests a huuuge! practical joke. Trump is to pretend to be a Republican presidential candidate and say all the crazy things that right-wing Republicans say. That will show America how loony the Republicans really are, and Hillary will win in a walk.

Hey, it could have happened. You know Bill and the Donald had a long phone conversation just before he announced his candidacy, right?

Don’t you wonder what they talked about?

You don’t think Donald Trump expects American voters to buy his current line of hooey, do you?

For example, nobody in their right mind is going to believe Trump – or anyone else – can round up more than 11 million undocumented immigrants and ship them back to their countries of origin. That would take all the available resources of the federal government – all its manpower, all its money, all its time. And it still wouldn’t get the job done. It’s obviously an impossible dream (make that nightmare).

There would be nobody and no money left to build that wall between the US and Mexico. (One conservative talk show host has suggested using the illegal immigrants as slaves to build the wall, but I don’t think that idea will get much support.)

As for Trump’s notion that America could charge countries like South Korea and Japan for protecting them militarily, really?

Does that mean Canada would have to pay Uncle Sam for NORAD?

That would be the day!

Trump’s “policies” are a hoot – and that’s what I suspect they’re intended to be. He deliberately contradicts himself, upbraiding women and threatening to abridge their rights while proclaiming that he “cherishes” them, for example. His posturing is an act (it has to be; nobody who is really that goofy could succeed in the business world). And his rhetoric is pure satire.

Of course few people get satire. A lot of folks take it seriously. Those 20,000 people who showed up in Alabama the other night, for example. They didn’t even get it when Trump pretended his book (The Art of the Deal) was right up there with the Holy Bible. If you think the man is serious when he says something like that, you need a brain transplant.

Every time somebody gets on TV and says they’re friends with Donald Trump, they make a point of telling us what a joker he is.

Of course, this prank could backfire. Trump could go all the way.

And the joke would be on us.

Click for Trump and the Clintons.

gwgraeme

I am a Jamaican-born writer who has lived and worked in Canada and the United States. I live in Lakeland, Florida with my wife, Sandra, our three cats and two dogs. I like to play golf and enjoy our garden, even though it's a lot of work. Since retiring from newspaper reporting I've written a few books. I also write a monthly column for Jamaicans.com

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