According to the latest news flash, the FDA has approved a pill to make women desire us guys. As an observer of the passing scene, I can’t let this one pass without some pertinent (and impertinent) observations.
First, I’m sure this must come as a shock to most males. After all, we are such studs that women naturally desire us on sight, don’t they? Of course they pretend they don’t find us irresistable. They like to play games to get us even more interested. But we’re on to them. We know they’re just flirting with us when they rage and flail and shove us away.
You ladies might think I’m kidding, but, sadly, that’s how a lot of men really feel in their hearts. And I’m not just talking about your genuine stud muffin. I am referring also to the fat (or scrawny) and the bald, the sweaty and the unkempt, the unshaven, unwashed, hairy brutes with knuckles dragging on the ground. They, too, consider themselves God’s gift to women.
Women, on the other hand, must look their best for us. They’d better go on a diet, get their hair done, paint their lips and fingrnails, lengthen their eyelashes, teeter on the highest of high heels, and get their teeth straightened and whitened. As Masters of the Universe, we males demand no less.
I know that the times have changed and this kind of craziness is not as common as it was. But it is far from extinct.
Why do you think portly and homely Donald Trump feels he can call Rosie O’Donnell “a fat pig”?
Tell the truth, ladies, wouldn’t you need a pill – a powerful one at that – to make you desire Donald Trump?
I’m sure a lot of dutiful wives and lovers will take the new pill to help them discharge their conjugal obligations. Based on the hugely profitable success of Viagra, Cialis and Levitra, the folks at Sprout Pharmaceuticals (the company that developed the new pill) are rubbing their hands in gleeful anticipation.
But wouldn’t it be wonderful if we men responded to our ladies’ waning desire by making ourselves more desirable? When was the last time you guys took your sweetie on a date? Did you spruce yourself up and comb what hair you have? Did you shave the stubble I notice on so many male faces these days? Did you open the car door for her? Did you mention her beautiful eyes, her silky skin, her intoxicating perfume? Did you tell her you love and desire her today even more than you did when you first met?
Trust me, guys. That works a lot better than any pill.