The Reagan National airport is buzzing with diplomats, arriving for the G20 summit. However, there is a a crowd gathering around two special guests. Wow, we are in for a treat from some really special guests. Let’s listen in:
Reporter: Welcome to Washington! We have not heard from you since the Olympics.
Bolt: Thank you for your warm welcome. I am on a mission that is bigger than the Olympics! When we reviewed the G20 list, we noticed that no developing country was present. The IMF and the World Bank cannot fully represent our interest. We think that medals/population ratio should determine the G20. Until that amendment is made, we are requesting a guest invitation, and we will just call it the G21.
Reporter: Let me now turn to your partner. What do you hope to accomplish at this meeting?
Oliver: Jamaica’s total exposure on mortgage-backed securities is zip, zero, nada. As a result, Jamaica has the insight to share when other governments are struggling to shore up their financial sectors. We Jamaicans will not sit idly by while such big world events are happening. This is clear from the slowing export growth, and resulting increases in unemployment in export-dependent areas of our country like Clarendon and St. Elizabeth. Therefore it is Jamaica’s responsibility to join actively in global efforts to prevent the financial markets from collapse. The world is anxiously waiting for Jamaica’s debut in the coming Washington Summit of the Group of 20. Now it is Jamaica’s turn to play the rescuing party to recapitalize the world markets. Our strategy is simple; tap Jamaica’s foreign exchange.
With that Bolt opens a suitcase full of Jamaican dollars.
Oliver: Jamaica could negotiate with relevant parties to conduct a “debt-equity swap” retiring certain amounts of debt securities and investing them as equity capital in troubled banks. Moreover, Jamaica will invest in these financial institutions on one-dollar-to-one-dollar matching.
Bolt: Our limo has arrived. We’ve got to go!
Reporter: Can we have a sit down interview after the conference.
Oliver: Yes indeed! Talk to you on Monday morning over breakfast. Any place around here where we can get an ackee & salt fish with green banana meal?
Reporter: No problem mon!
Mister, mister! You better get up! This is where you usually get off the train!