Greetings! This week in the skies was quite lovely. Why just yesterday I was catching a grown man’s vomit into a garbage bag.
Let me explain.
We were in Chicago on our way to NY. These two guys board and they are obviously hung over. Since I don’t like diverting for any reason at all. I checked in on them before we closed the cabin door to make sure they would be alright for the entire flight. They told me they had a late night and were up partying. I gave them both Ginger Ales, water, packets of upset stomach chewables and vomit bags. So one guy falls asleep almost immediately. However, his friend started to throw up during the taxi. By the time we hit 10,000 feet, he had filled up four vomit bags and it didn’t seem to be coming to an end. He got up to run to the bathroom but he wasn’t gonna make it. He had his hand balled up in a fist to try and stop the puke. As the puke oozed through his fingers, it made a slimy drip line that was slowly making it’s way to the floor. It must have been divine intervention and excellent timing that made me whip out a garbage bag just as he got to the galley and spewed. Thank fully, I was able to catch everything and my uniform and galley was saved from disaster.
It amazes me:
-that you ask for a seat belt extension for your fat belly, but order four bags of chips, three bags of cookies and Diet Coke (like that’s gonna help). There is no mystery as to why a regular seatbelt can’t stretch all the way around you.
-that you immediately head for the aircraft restroom as soon as you board. What happen to the bathrooms in the terminal? Eeh?
-that you ask me, “Where are we?” at any given point during a flight. I am not a GPS, especially when there is a map channel right in front of you.
-that you order a triple vodka on the rocks and you’re flying with your small children. Liquor numbs the pains of parenting huh?
Young one in training.
-that you pass your child from aisle seat to aisle seat during takeoff when the plane accelerates to 600mph. It was as if I was watching a tennis match with these two parents.
Enjoy your weekend!
- What does a One-Legged Lady and a Toupée have in common? Sadly, Me. (Yaadinfo Blog)
- The Horrors of Hypochondria! (Yaadinfo Blog)
- A Brief History of Vomiting (nottobetrustedwithknives.com)
- Calling bozos bozos is dangerous is the Los Angeles Superior Court (henypire.blogspot.com)