I havent been able to post in the last few days and I missed you guys. You were on my mind. Anyway I had a great weekend with my son. Saturday we stayed home and I seriously didn’t do much work as I wanted to just spend some serious chill time with him as the next few months I will hardly be there on the weekends and Sunday he visited with his sister and cousin. He loved it. It’s so nice seeing him interact with other children. Then I realize just how independent he is. He just leaves me alone and goes and do his thing. He is getting older aaaahhhh boy. Next month he will be two.
When I look at him I think back of my daughter who died on Jan 19, 2008 at Bustamante Childrens Hospital a few hours after delivery at 7 months and at times its bitter-sweet. I wonder where she is and if she is ok. Things like this make you wonder alot about what happened to a person when they die. She is with me constantly and I am glad I got to hold her. I however try to enjoy the time I have with my son and make the most of it and move on. I also know given the difficult pregnancy that it was, that maybe it was not meant to be and try to accept it and life for what it is right now.
I am so emotional this morning I don’t know why. I havent cried since thinking about her in awhile.
Anyway I rarely discuss it but I do feel mothers who suffer the loss of a child carry it with them always and need to talk and share more as painful as it is. Just maybe someone else might benefit. At the time my daughter died I heard of someone who had lost 3 persons in their immediate family and I said to myself sometimes when you think you have it bad there is someone else out there having a harder time.
Take care and walk good.