George Graham

No Country for College Graduates

Listening to the current crop of Republicans who aspire to the nation’s highest office, I get the impression that while China’s motto is “to be rich is glorious,” America’s is “to sound dumb is to get elected – or at least nominated.”

I used to think that a college degree is something to be prized.  But it seems times have changed. Today, you win votes by showing how inept you are at book larnin’. One of Texas Governor Rick Perry’s greatest pluses is that F he got in organic chemistry.

Phooey to such nonsense as evolution and all that science stuff. Everybody knows we didn’t come from no durn monkey.

An’ we know carbon dioxide don’t pollute the air. Heck, we’re full of the stuff and breathe it out all the time. Yet you don’t see us falling over dead, do ya? No, buddy, air pollution is good for us. And climate change? Why that’s God’s way of punishing us for all that same-sex stuff that’s going on. We better get out  our ark building tools, just in case.

And whoever actually saw a molecule? Gimme a break! I don’t feel no electrons spinnin’ aroun’ in me!

They made all that stuff up to bamboozle honest, God-fearin’ folks.  We know the earth is 5,000 years old and men walked among dinosaurs. We know 2 an’ 2 is 4 only if you want it to be. Math was invented for mankind; mankind wasn’t invented for math.

Moreover, we don’t want none o’ them long-hair artist an’ poet types hanging’ aroun’ . Look, everybody knows a painting should look like real stuff an’ poems should rhyme. Wassup with that abstract art an’ free verse rubbish?

Ignorance is the new sophistication, and a degree is no longer the asset that it was a few years ago. Everything is outsourced these days, including technical and white-collar tasks. The result is that America has a generation of college graduates with no jobs waiting for them.

I see only one solution – mass emigration to Canada.

Back in the Vietnam era, Canada welcomed an influx of bright, progressive youngsters eager to escape the U.S. draft. It was America’s loss and Canada’s gain.

The time has come for Canada to receive another wave of college graduates from south of the border.

Former prime minister Wilfrid Laurier predicted the Twentieth Century would belong to Canada. He might be a century off.

With ignorance being glorified in America, I expect Canada to rival China for global dominance in the century ahead. And they just might get some help from America’s brightest and best, who are no longer valued in their own homeland.

About the author

gwgraeme

I am a Jamaican-born writer who has lived and worked in Canada and the United States. I live in Lakeland, Florida with my wife, Sandra, our three cats and two dogs. I like to play golf and enjoy our garden, even though it's a lot of work. Since retiring from newspaper reporting I've written a few books. I also write a monthly column for Jamaicans.com