What will they think of next? The vast right-wing noise machine has come up with a new scandal. It involves Hillary’s eye. The left one. Apparently it’s “crazy,” and that’s a likely symptom of a grave medical condition, don’t you know?
I learned of this new theory thanks to my nephew Chris, who sent me a link to a web site called Information Liberation. An article on the site (by someone named Chris Menahan) quotes “general surgeon John R. Coppedge, MD, FACS.” The “general surgeon” (not be confused with the surgeon general) sounds an urgent alarm about Hillary’s left eye.
It is illustrated by pictures (photo shopped?) showing Hillary looking cross-eyed. And it is replete with scholarly sounding references to “the left sixth cranial nerve,” “the lateral rectus muscle,” “an intermittent lateral rectus palsy,” and so on.
The “general surgeon” surmises that the likely cause of the problem is “a transverse sinus thrombosis” and he warns that Hillary’s life could be in grave danger. (Obviously, she shouldn’t be elected President if she could drop dead at any moment. Right?)
I am not a “general surgeon” (whatever that may be). I am not even an ophthalmologist. But I know something about crazy eyes. You see, I happen to have a similar problem. One eye – the left – tends to stray. You could (if you were mean enough) call it a “crazy eye.”
It also makes me see double, especially when I’m tired. So the eye doctor put a prism in one lens of my glasses to correct the problem.
But it has nothing to do with “a transverse sinus thrombosis.” Some years ago, the retinas in both eyes spontaneously separated, and the left retina was torn. I have no idea what caused it, but it took several operations to get me seeing again. I imagine that might have something to do with the straying left eye.
Anyway, I’ve suffered from this condition for many years – long enough to serve a couple of terms as President if I had to – and I’m still breathing.
So I doubt there’s anything to worry voters if Hillary’s left eye really does wander. The important thing – to me anyway – is that she has a good brain and a good heart, which is a lot more than I can say for her opponent.