Pig’s Perspective on Pandemic

Enough!  I have received so many copies of this cartoon reflecting a Jamaican perspective on the swine flu, I was driven to go beyond the sensational headlines approach.


How can you not have some sympathy for this animal?

Less we forget, there is Porky Pig and Arnold on Green Acres that provided us with much entertainment.


The last two weeks we have seen a global panic triggered by the outbreak of the H1N1 influenza strain. Lots of perspective have been presented on this topic with the exception of one, that of the pig.  Before you dismiss this angle, please consider the arguments the pigs present.


At a recent council meeting, these pigs chose a spokesperson to represent their position.  Can you guess who they chose?  Yes none other than Porky Pig!


He began by calling all the networks to see if he could get on the morning talk shows.  The magnitude of the task placed such pressure on him that his stuttering just increased as he started to engage the media on the phone.


Despondent, he decided to seek professional help.   Thumbing through the yellow pages he ran across several doctors, made a calling list, and started trying to get an appointment. The Rasta, Jewish, and Muslim personnel flatly turned him down.  When he reached the Methodist hospital, he was frankly told that the summer  roaster was the only position he would occupy in their facility.


His tearful oinking prompted the Adventist doctor to reluctantly see him, if the meeting was kept strictly off the record.

As he came to the doctor’s office, he extended his hoof, but a similar gesture was not forthcoming. Instead he received a open hand that maintained a three foot distance.  The doctor shared that this was the swine flu handshake. Well, Porky ignored the insult due to his desperation, and took his place on the sterile, cold bench in the quickly arranged basement office.



Porky launched into the session with the doctor with this opening question.

Porky: How important is one’s name?

Doc:  Very important!  It gives you identity and personal heritage. So why such a question?

Porky: Well doc, there has been a heated debate in our community that given the tainting of our name, we may want to consider a change. “Trenton” is being suggested.

Doc: Look, that’s pure nonsense!  Think of the many marvelous contributions you have made. I will never forget your stories such as the Three Little pigs, getting my first piggy bank to foster the value of saving, and sharing.  As you know I would not recommend you as a source of food, but you provide many  other useful services.


Porky: Doc,that’s why I came to you.  How quickly folks forget.  Do you know of the anger of the soccer fans in Mexico ?  There is a joke going around that they will die of boredom before they die of this flu.  These folks are tired of being locked out of their stadiums and having to watch their favorite teams from TV missing out on the rich atmosphere of the stadium.


Doc: You remember that you are a big deal in Asia.  Back in 2007, I remember my Chinese friends celebrating the year of the pig.  I was told that the Pig  has its principal qualities of honesty, tolerance and rigor. The Pig is well-meaning and generous, persevering and steady, and is appreciated for his courage, prosperity and nobility.


Porky: Thanks again doc for that affirmation, but would you believe we got a very angry call from a hotel in Hong Kong. This guest was quarantined in the hotel for days because of the flu scare, and may start a petition to remove  the pig from the Chinese calendar! In addition, we are being made the “scape goat “of stirring a diplomatic incidence between the Chinese and the Mexicans!

Doc: That’s incredible! Any other threats?


Porky: Well, got another call from Mexico saying that no pork products are being promoted for the upcoming Cinco de Mayo celebration.Actually that is not quite right. Rumor has it that the pig pinata will be a popular offering when the celebration is allowed maybe on seises de Mayo.

Doc:  Well, that’s a mixed blessing.  Now your family members there will not have to make that ultimate sacrifice.



Porky: Doc, I wish it was that easy.  Do you know that more pigs will be slaughtered in Canada and Egypt alone than folks, than humans will die because of this flu. In Canada, a farmer brought the flu source to his farm and wala, infection among the brothers began.  In Egypt, we are being defended by farmers.  The Christians farmers  raise us, but the Muslims sees this as a means of ridding the country of 300k of my brothers. 

Doc: So sorry to hear that.  Any other worries?


Porky: Well, there is a growing rumor that the phone company is considering eliminating all pig-like ringtones.  In addition, the football Redskins maybe considering replacing that famous pig snout  of their hogs with a head feather. can you believe that!

Doc:  Now that’s going too far! Ever think of calling PETA to see if they will bring public pressure to bear?


Porky: Are you kidding! Have you not heard that they are rumored to  be leveraging Michael Vick’s redemption process.  Too busy for us.


I am afraid the term sacrificial lamb will be history.  It’s going to be  replaced by the sacrificial pig!


Doc:Let it not be so Porky!

Porky: If we are going to survive, we may need to make our case in many ways. Thanks for your encouragement and support.


Doc: Truth be known, I am seeing some quite healthy folk who the medical community are calling “the worried well”.  These are folks that are so panicked, that they are filling emmergency rooms, and doctor’s offices clearly out of fear.  I do my best to allay their concerns. So what will be your next step?


Porky: I will also try to use information not fear to quell the hysteria.

Porky:  I will continue to investigate and clarify the issues.  So what do you think?



Doc:  Fancy aren’t we!


Are you ready to put the fork in the pig or will you consider a more thoughtful approach of the flu situation ?


I am an entrepreneur whose focus is on helping small businesses deploy internet marketing tools to leverage new customers and profits. I believe in the survival of the knitted, and thus champion those who are making a difference in our community.

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