Roses – A Perfect Getaway

Namsta Naomi J. – Yaadinfo Contributor    [ Website ]

Roses - A Distinctive Little Anecdote

I bust the windows out your car
And though it didn’t mend my broken heart
I’ll probably always have these ugly scars
but right now I don’t care about that part.

Bust Your Windows – Jazmine Sullivan

Date: Saturday, October 4, 2008.
Location: Outside The Candy Moon Club
Time: 4:58 AM

Making my escape like a villain on Britain’s most wanted list, I leapt into the car before dislodging my heart from inside my throat.
“MARCIA! WHY DIDN’T YOU STOP HER?” Johanna gasped.
The rush of excitement and disbelief at what just happened flickered through me.
“JADE…. WHAT YOU DOING…Get in the BLASTED car!” An infuriated Shauna spat through gritted teeth.
kidnapper car“What the heck?” Johanna panted.
Deciding she’d moonwalk the short distance back towards to the car, Jade had the smuggest look on her face. Balancing on her toes and then pretending to grab her crotch, she jumped into the car.
“Now who’s bad?” Jade chuckled.
“JADE YOU F#@$ING FOOL!!!” Shauna screamed, aggressively revving the car’s engine before hastily pulling away.

Oh my diggy-days! For Shauna to have used such profanity, I knew she must have had enough.
“These stooopid guys…When the hell will they learn, not to fuck with us…d’ya hear what I’m saying bruv,” Jade grinned, pulling off her wig.
“I swear Jade, you’ve got some serious mental health problems!” Shauna barked, slamming her foot on the gas pedal.
“What if you get arrested? What if we all get arrested? There is such a bloody thing as fingerprint testing and CCTV footage you know,” Shauna fumed.
“You’re gonna be the death of me honestly.” Shauna added, massaging her high forehead with her left hand.
As the car took a sharp left, Jade literally landed on top of me.
“Yeah and you’ll be an accessory to the crime scene innit Miss getaway driver,” Jade laughed whilst raking her fingers through her tousled shoulder length bob.
“Jade. THIS AIN’T FUNNY! STOP MUCKING ABOUT! I’m serious!” Shauna snapped.
“Oh phleaze Shauna, why you getting so shook for? I ain’t got no fricking criminal record for the feds to check my finger prints against anyway. I was wearing the glove man. Besides, there ain’t no CCTV cameras around that part of Old Street and we were the only ones around,”

If I didn’t know Miss Knight any better, I could have sworn the attack on Marlon’s car was premeditated.
“Don’t act like that ginnal didn’t fricking deserve it,” Jade continued, spreading her arms across the backseat head rests.
I can’t lie. I couldn’t help feeling secretly pleased at Jade’s (maybe not so) silent stab of justice.
“How could you have been certain that was his ride anyway Jade?” Johanna scrutinized, almost as if she had switched into her journalist mode.
“Well, since there ain’t that many car registration plates with the name Marlon on them, it didn’t take Einstein to work that out man. Anyways, Marcia told me innit.”
Jade started to crack her knuckles one by one.
“JADE you liar! I never told you anything. You blimming asked!” I shrieked.
“Anyways, like that matters man. He had that coming. Standard.” Jade coolly replied.
Despite feeling on edge, wondering if some feds were gonna pull us over at any given second, I couldn’t argue with that. At this very moment I had no sympathy for that Marlon or his stinky love wagon.
“Jade, you’ve got serious issues,” Shauna sniped turning up the car radio.
“Whateveerrr Shauna. Save your concerns for the Jeremy Kyle show.”

With her shoulders delicately jolting up and down in the front seat, I could tell Johanna wanted to burst with laughter.
“How ironic,” I said instantly recognising the violin intro of the next song.
“I’ll bust the windows out your car….” Jade sang along to the chorus of husky voiced Jazmine Sullivan’s fiery hit.
Puffing like the big bad wolf, Shauna immediately turned down the volume.
“HEY, that’s a tune. Leave it man.” Jade demanded before reaching through the gap and turning the car stereo back up to ear splitting volume.
It was obvious that Shauna was too tired to try and oppose Jade anymore. Concentrating on the road ahead, it seemed Shauna had thrown the towel in, allowing Jade to carry on performing her karaoke.
“I’m glad I did it cos you had to learn…”

singing in the car“Oh stuff it….I love this song.” I said, finally giving in and shaking my shoulders to the rhythm.
“You deserved it, You deserved it,” Jade started to click her fingers.
“I ain’t sorry, I ain’t sorry,” Johanna and I howled at the top of our voices.
Talk about an epiphany man. It all made sense now. How Marlon was only ever able to take me out every other Friday, and funnily enough, was never around most Sundays. Him having to suddenly ‘go’ halfway through a phone conversation. For the last couple of weeks it was taking Marlon hours, if not days, to call me back. I guess being so busy and engrossed in the day to day running of my own life, I totally ignored the signs and put it down to his awkward hours of work. So much for bloody Certified Laws of Attraction. Talk about a crock of shit. Marcia, you plum! The signs could have been in flashing neon lights and I still would have missed them. In a sudden moment of bitter sweetness, pain exploded in my chest and I found myself on the verge of breaking down into tears.
“Don’t do it Marcia.” I told myself, swallowing the hardened lump in my throat.

[Continues Next Week…]


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