Roses – Just Another Prick

Namsta Naomi J. – Yaadinfo Contributor    [ Website ]

Roses - A Distinctive Little Anecdote

“If love be rough with you, be rough with love;

Prick love for pricking, and you beat love down.”

– Shakespeare

Date: Saturday, October 4, 2008.
Location: Inside my flat, Stephens Road, Stratford E15
Time: 7:03 AM


relationship bluesNursing the bitter brunt of disenchantment, I wiped my tired eyes with the palm of my hands. A million and one nagging questions raced through my head.
What does Monique have that I don’t? Why did Marlon say he really likes me? Why did he say he’s single when he ain’t? What was so wrong with me that I’m not enough alone for him?
Questions, questions and more blasted questions.

“Awwww BQ, I dunno why you always try and go on so tough man,” Johanna said letting me rest my head on her shoulder.
“What else am I supposed to do then?” I hiccupped, deciding to use the purple Little Miss Naughty nightdress on my pillow as a handkerchief instead.
“Just let it out innit. Sometimes you’ve got way too much pride girly,” Johanna said kissing me on the forehead.
“I know,” I sighed.
“You’ll meet a decent guy BQ, I promise. I guess when you least expect it. We both know not all guys are wotless pieces of shite. I mean look at Jerome and Jade,” Johanna said.
“Yeah I hear you. Just sometimes, it seriously feels like Jade doesn’t appreciate that man though,” I muttered.
“Yeah but we all know Jade loves the bones of Jerome in her own strange way. Just remember girly, men are like roses,” Johanna whispered, resting her head on top of mine.
“Yep, yep we’ve-gotta-watch-out-for-the-pricks,” I hummed, wiping away the stringy snot drooping under my nose with the makeshift handkerchief.
“Amen!” Johanna laughed, hugging me tighter.

I didn’t exactly know how much more bullshit I could take from the swampy cesspit that was my so-called love life, but right now I was too worn out to care. I desperately wanted to sleep. I didn’t even have the oomph to call Marlon and cuss him out like I might have done in the past, let alone want to go seven rounds with him. Make no mistake about it though, as soon as my batteries were recharged, that swine’s phone number, Facebook, MSN contact and not forgetting his e-mail were all getting deleted from my life for good!
“Just for the record, I ain’t ever following any more of that Certified Laws of Attraction malarkey again okay!” I stated, carefully dabbing around my eyelids.
“Ermm yeah. I think that’s one social experiment we can safely say…doesn’t work for everyone,”
“You can say that again.” I said forcing a wry smile.
After taking swift showers, quickly running the toothbrushes against our teeth and whizzing through our essential cleanse and tone routine, Johanna and I were lying down top to tail in my single bed.
“Jo-Jo, fancy coming Oxford Street with me later?” I asked, tightening the strings on my ruby red headscarf.
With my other sister Ameeka’s (Dad and that hard faced goat Donna’s daughter) seventh birthday next Wednesday, I needed to get down there pronto, especially as I hadn’t even had the chance to think about what I would get the little madam as yet.
“Oh man I would really love to but I’ve got some business to sort out,” Johanna said, smearing a dab of Carmex on her lips.
“Business or bidness?” I asked.
“Nah man I wish. It ain’t like that girly,” Johanna laughed.
“Oooohh man, I swear House of Fraser’s having a one day sale and all…” Johanna muttered, sounding a little disappointed.
Oh my days! Trust Jo-Jo to know about which sales were on!

Often regarding herself as the Black and ten times even more fabulous version of Sex and the City’s Carrie Bradshaw, there wasn’t anything Johanna didn’t know about when it came to all things related to style and fashion.
“Yeah, I’ve got a meeting with those catering guys over in Catford at two thirty. I don’t really wanna spend more than a tenner per head if I can help it. It’s only a patty and sandwich kinda spread we’re after. Oh Marcia, I’ve really gotta get a move on you know and sort out the rest of November’s M.U.C seminar and after party properly,” said Johanna.
“Skeen I hear that,” I replied.
“I’ve gotta double check that Frisky Shotta and Sniper T are still available to play a few sets on that date, check if there’s enough tickets going on sale…” Johanna stopped for a second.
“Then I’ve gotta call Paperboy to see if he can design the flyer by the end of this month and I’ve still gotta make sure all the acts booked for that day can still perform,” Johanna wittered on.
“Now breathe.” I laughed when Johanna finally took a second for air.
“Oooh my days, talk about Miss Busybody,” I added.
“I know. So much to do, so little time hey,” Johanna sighed.
“It will all be worth it I’m sure,” I said, remembering how successful the last M.U.C event was.
“I’m sure it will as well BQ. I should be back in Chingford around fivish. Mum’s cooking goats stew and jollof rice for dinner tonight. Why you don’t you come on over?” Johanna asked.
Sitting up with the abruptness of an unsettled spirit rising from the dead, my eyes lit up at the thought of such delicacy.
“Goats stew and jollof rice? Gurlfren’ I’m there, you ain’t gotta tell me twice but I can’t have seconds though I’m afraid. Gotta watch the old waistline,” I laughed.
“Yeah right, like Mum will let you leave the house until you look like a stuffed turkey,” Johanna stated.
“Hmmm it will be hard. Very hard indeed but I’m sure I can rise to that challenge. Besides I wouldn’t wanna disappoint Aunty Beatrice now.” I winked, patting my belly.

[Continues Next Week…]


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