George Graham

Say It Ain’t So, John! Even You Couldn’t Be That Cynical

If I were a woman I would be insulted. As a man, I am amused (disgusted but amused). John McCain’s choice of Sarah Palin (pictured at right) as his running mate is ludicrous. Nobody in America could possibly be fooled by this clumsy sleight-of-hand. We know why you picked Sarah, John. She’s a woman!

palinHere’s how I see your (lame) rationale: If you pick a woman as your vice presidential candidate, the women who wanted to see Hillary Clinton in the White House will vote for you. Why? Simple: She will be next in line for the presidency in case anything might happen to you (after all, you’re 72 years old today). And if you survive your term in office, she will be poised to run for the U.S. presidency. That means the Hillary hopefuls might get to see a woman as president after all – any woman. You must think very little of women, John. But I’m not surprised. Your voting record shows persistent disrespect for women and their issues.

Some folks were predicting you would go with Condoleezza Rice (below, left), which would not only earn brownie points with women but also with African-Americans. I bet that, on second thought, you didn’t want to turn off folks who, well, you know, have reservations about ethnic considerations, etc. etc.  (some people might call them racists or bigots).

RiceHow ironic that you should choose Palin after beating up on Barack Obama for his “lack of experience.” Palin is a self-styled “hockey mom” who has been governor of Alaska for less than two years. At 44, she is three years younger than Obama — and as far as I can see she has zero experience in foreign policy and defense. Also, in what has become a Republican Party hallmark, she is “under  investigation.” The Republican-controlled legislature is checking out a charge that she ordered the dismissal of Alaska’s public safety commissioner because he would not fire her former brother-in-law as a state trooper. (Two senior Republican office-holders in Palin’s home state, Sen. Ted Stevens and Rep. Don Young, are targets of federal corruption investigations.)

But you got yourself a basketball player, John, so Obama can’t one-up you on that point any more. As Sarah Louise Heath, your new running mate was the point guard for the Wasilla High School Warriors when they won the Alaska small-school basketball championship in 1982. Not only that, but she’s a beauty queen, too. In 1984, she won the Miss Congeniality award in the Miss Alaska pageant (after winning the Miss Wasilla contest). Eat your heart out Paris Hilton and Britney Spears! McCain has a celebrity of his own now!

And, in another tip of the toque to Obama (and Bill Clinton), she says she used marijuana when it was legal in Alaska (but she says she didn’t like it).

schlafleyBut there’s a sharp difference between her politics and Obama’s. She is as conservative as Phyllis Schlafley (photo at left). A hard-core anti-abortionist, she is a lifelong member of the National Rifle Association who wants polar bears removed from the endangered-species list.  She is also an avid moose hunter. The daughter of a school secretary and a teacher/track coach, Palin is married to an oil company employee, and is eager to start drilling in Alaska’s national parks.  She also has that military tradition that McCain holds so dear (her eldest son, Track, is a soldier) so she would probably be marching at McCain’s side when he invades Iran or Russia or whatever other country is handy when (if) he becomes president.

quayle If this is an example of your vaunted “judgment” John, you scored pretty low in my book. Your decision displays deep cynicism and lack of respect for women’s intelligence. Sarah Palin reminds me of another ludicrous vice presidential pick – a guy named Dan Quayle (photo of bust at right). I only wonder if Palin can spell potato.

About the author

gwgraeme

I am a Jamaican-born writer who has lived and worked in Canada and the United States. I live in Lakeland, Florida with my wife, Sandra, our three cats and two dogs. I like to play golf and enjoy our garden, even though it's a lot of work. Since retiring from newspaper reporting I've written a few books. I also write a monthly column for Jamaicans.com