If you ever doubted that politics today is just showbiz, surely those doubts have been dispelled by now. You’ve probably heard, for example, that Fox News is staging the first debate for Republican primary hopefuls on Thursday, and it’s strictly a ratings game kind of thing. To get into the main debate, candidates must be among the top 10 in popularity, as determined by an average of five national polls (selected by Fox, of course). The also-rans will get to give their spiel in a show opener for the main event.
Step right up, folks. See the candidates strut their stuff, live and in color! See (and hear) the rich and famous Donald Trump make extravagant claims and spray insults at his rivals! Watch Bush the Third counter with whatever wit and wisdom he can muster! Hear what the billionaire Koch Brothers want for America, courtesy of their mouthpiece, Scott Walker!
I wouldn’t be surprised to see Mike Huckabee bring his guitar to the debate. He could sing a catchy folk song about the Nazi gas ovens.
If Rick Perry makes the cut, you might even see a physical contest between him and the Donald. The former Texas governor has challenged Trump to match him in doing pull-ups – you know pulling yourself up by your arms while holding on to an overhead bar (I’m sure you must’ve done it back in high school gym class). Why? Because Trump questioned Perry’s IQ and…
I duinno. You figure it out.
Unfortunately, you won’t get to see Lindsey Graham blow up his cell phone in the Big Show. The senator isn’t polling well enough to make the main event. But he might come up with something spectacular for the earlier also-ran debate. And, as an added attraction, you might see Carly Fiorina cross her legs in the early show, too.
Whatever, it’s going to be a really big night – for Fox. The popular cable channel is sure to attract even more viewers than usual Thursday night. And that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it?
What about the voters?
Any voter who doesn’t know by now what the Republican candidates plan to do if elected President of these United States must have been on an expedition to the South Pole for the past several months. Here. let me sum it up for you: The Republican candidates plan to do whatever the corporate elite and their billionjaire donors want them to do. And you know, what’s good for those fat cats is good for the rest of us because “a rising tide lifts all boats.”
Sure it does. And if you believe that, you probably believe in the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, too. So just enjoy the show.