I was born a hero in this complicated, genial, concrete and mysterious earthly world. My earth name given to me by my earth parents Chaldon W. Foster but my spiritual name was given to me through life experience from all I have endure as I stumble, survive and get back up again “The original dreadlocks from Jam Town.” My journey allows me to see the real and unreal, to build me up, when I thought I didn’t have the strength in me and it’s because of my eternal father and righteous people named “Bobo dreads” I am the way I am for a cause.
I was born in Jamaica West Indies. At a tender age I weep, for reason none understood why I weep. I didn’t know if it was the absence of feeling unloved, or it was the joy of being alive and that it was a preparation of ‘rites of passage’ what I was about to endure, the things I didn’t understand. I knew I was bless with richness, the love I felt in me and I didn’t know what I would face but I knew my mom gave me everything I need maybe I was spoil or maybe just maybe it was a way of preparing me for the experience I was about to embark. My mom use to send me to school and I just didn’t feel that was my place. I use to run away from school, too much restriction, to hang out with young boys that seems tougher, stronger and more experience than I. I was born a natural boy and I wanted to live as I was- born-Free- because I love nature. I wanted to be the greatest thing alive to get the things I want and when I want it and I felt that we were born to live in freedom and not under some authority that tells us that we are not good enough, smart enough, supposed to walk, talk and speak a certain way or view us like animals. I felt I was born free and freedom I was determined to get. I was awarded a certificate as an electrician and I was a cook at a Health Food Store. As a young man growing up, I met boys that were “unruly” as some may say—. So I journey to find myself, to experience the land of the free, to embrace nature, and meet people that were different than me and like me. As I journey and grew I was taken to the United States which was a rude awakening and an ‘eye opening’. I was on a different planet and diverse of people and I found out what it means to live in a concrete jungle. What I found out that although the land was large some was more advanced than others, that I was view a minority and the land of ‘gold’ had too many boss, was corrupted, polluted and over medicated, some of the people were far worse than I, confused, lonely, angry, selfish, self-absorbed, self-preservation, self-righteous, kind and unkind. I saw that they too were in prison and trying to brave out this false sense of self. The first girl I thought I loved as a youth in Jamaica was Laverne however she didn’t have those same feelings for me. I met a beautiful princess name Edwina “Gwen” and I didn’t know how much she meant to me until we parted and she passed away. I couldn’t cope with her passing and I went berserk. I began to love any women I feel may love me back. I met one that I felt loved me, I will refrain from mentioning her name, however the path I took allow us to be divided and we never saw each other again. I truly believed I love all the women I met, some brought me joy and some brought me severe pain. I had children with some of them. Even though I tried to be a good man, as my parents tried to steer me in the way they wish for me to go, grow, adapt what they ‘vision’ for me, as I tried to work hard as the men that I see dress in corporate suits and the ones doing various and odds job; I realize they were here before me, far clever, cunning and smarter than I, that it was a ‘world’ set in place by the forefathers before any of us got here. My life made an ever changing spin with the company I surrounded myself with and maybe just maybe they helped to bring out the ‘realness’ in me. It was stated by some people that one is guilty by association. I felt that I walk into a big net that had me feeling trap that feeling free. Of all the friends I knew and the people I meet, love, and was kind to, I endure pain, came to realize that this planet was made to study our behavior, to trap us, to confuse us, to try to bring us down instead of trying to empower, elevate us and help us succeed. My parents encourage me to get an education which I received a skill as an electrician, among other skills I had. However my path detour me from my skills. I saw the planet I live on is a rat race, who will get there before the others, no matter how or what the cost. Instead of helping each other up, people was selective of who they will choose in their circle to assist, some may try to help when things has already gone out of hand, when the person is ill, lost their home, job and life. I realize if I wanted to be free from this complicated society that allow my mind to feel so confused I had to pay my dues, to earn respect even if I have to fight for my freedom the way I knew how, or give in and I believe I fought a good fight to find my way back to who I truly am. The freedom I wished and long for cost me, brought me pain, illness, and got me confined to not only an earthly prison but a prison within. As I endure this pain, I thank the living Creator who allows me to breathe & live. I wish the people whom I shared myself with, thought loved me, in the time I needed it the most, when I was homeless, confine, hospitalize with an open heart surgery, asthma, diabetes, HIV, among other illness knew that my action may seem intentionally, my heart truly long for unconditional love. I realize I wanted something that I seek outside of myself—real love—may never come at this time in my life. I felt far lonelier than ever before and it help me came to the realization that I have to get the strength to face my own self, to accept what theology calls it—accept my sins, forgive myself, face my demons, to love me even it’s a little love or even its a mighty love that is in me. Even though my family said they loved me, and tried to show it the best way they could, I felt the only friend I ever had was myself and my creator Jah who brought me through all the heartache I had endured. And the death of my mom came staring me in the eye and I saw that I deeply loved her and she loved me as she take her last breath I am now face with the fact that I was more than lonelier and I am waiting to meet my Creator and feel the joy that has been told to me and long overdue.
Chaldon Passed away Tue, Jan 29, 2019