Before I start to write, I often sit with myself in silence. I do this so that I can listen to the voice within. I ask one simple question,“what shall I write about next?”, the answer that came back in the still small voice,” the power of forgiveness and letting go.”
People are often amazed by the relationship my ex-husband and I have. We often bounce ideas off each other and he is one of my biggest supporters. He encourages me to do the things I say I am committed to doing and following up to see if it was done.
How could this be, the fact that we are no longer together would indicate we had “irreconcilable differences,” and needed to stay as far away from each other as much as possible. The truth is, we didn’t want to waste valuable time and energy staying in a negative place over an extended period of time. We had a child together, and despite how we might have felt about each other at the time, she was now our sole priority. The way we communicated with and treated each other would greatly affect how she perceives relationships in the future.
“Everything that happens to us are lessons to be learned, we can choose to past the tests and move on to the next one, or stay stuck on the side of the road.”
Couples usually don’t get along after a relationship dissolves, because there are too many baggages being carried around. Listen, I know some people are just super hard to deal with, but the less time we spend focusing on the other person and more on how we can best handle the situation, the better off we will be. I have learned and still continue to learn that I only have control over myself. It took me a while to really get this truth, but once I did, I owned my actions and not the actions of the other person.
With age comes maturity, or it should come with maturity. The older I get, the more I realize how therapeutic and beneficial a peaceful lifestyle can be. I can’t escape the fact that I will find myself in disagreements, but I no longer have the need to prove I am always right. I listen more and talk less. I also try to see things from the other person’s perspective and compromise if needs be.
What happened in the past, stays in the past. The past no longer exist. It only comes alive when I choose to play the old record over and over in my head. When negative thoughts about any area of my life comes to my memory, I acknowledge the thought and surrender the emotions associated with it.
I no longer hold on to the foolish idea that someone else can complete me. A person can complement, but never complete you. Whenever you get into a relationship, go into it being 100% in every way, mentally, physically and emotionally. There are no 50/50 relationships. Everyone need to be 100/100. Only when you are whole and complete, will you be able to truly appreciate love, and all that comes with it.