Empressjournee Jamaica

Today- I Let His Love Take Over Me

Today

Today I did not want to explain how I feel. I wanted to scream, beat the ground
Like there was no tomorrow and let you hear my thunder, throw something
Against the wall, as I felt the heaviness of this earthly sorrow.

Today I did not want to explain how I feel. I wanted to scream and scream,
Muffle my mouth before I said something hurtful and Mean,
As you keep insisting that we should pray and pray
And I knew God understood everything that I was feeling.

Today I did not want to explain how I feel
Or be amongst anyone that resemble the voice of pain
Professing love for me—today I tried to be silent
wanted total silence and we stop playing this tic for tac
Foolish game, yet you—the caller, felt that I did not
want you to share the greatness of His Majesty.

Today I wanted to scream and scream,
I didn’t think you hear me. Is this a dream?
I find myself explaining the unexplainable—foolish
Of me, as I hung up the phone, I breathe in and out,
Push down the hurt the ache within and say,
Stop, enough of this guilt trip!
And I began to call out the Lord’s name,
Even when I felt like screaming again and again,
‘Help me God and please father, silence the pain
That is aching me!! Today, Today I wanted,
I really, really, wanted to scream and scream
instead I let His love take over me.

Empress M.

About the author

empressjournee

I am a graduate of Medgar Evers College (M.E.C.); mother of three, grandmother and great grand. I love to read great books and listen to podcasts that uplift my consciousness; sharing historical view of the different shades of color, the various culture, the way we all are connected, the musical genius throughout the world and the works that are done to help us tap into ourselves and know that we are worthy. I also love to write poetry and sing. There was a moment that now phase in another aspiration of my life, I felt singing was a forum—a path to take, that helps to voice, express my thoughts, in time where I was struggling, battling something I did not understand and what I was going through; feeling unsupportive. Although, there was some support, especially from my love ones, the challenges I faced was mostly internal.
I am so grateful for the grace I have been given to be able to write my poetic thoughts, that is my freedom. I was a part of a journey that taught me lessons and motivate me that preparation is a must to face a world that may not be ready for a new rising star. Thank you for taking the time to read my poetry. I especially wanted to give honor to my mother who is no longer in the physical, as well as my natural father for the knowledge of health before he departed from this planet. Also, I would like to thank you my supporter for being on this journey with me even at times when the journey seems unclear. May we appreciate the blessings that has been given to us, as we continue to soar, as we reach a place of true jubilee.
Empress Journee

2 Comments

  • Hi Anthea,

    I enjoyed reading your blog. I love the name too! I found your reflections on some of the well-intentioned, but idiosyncratic parenting styles of some Jamaicans to be very funny. I remember some of those shoes from my primary school days that I just could not “mash up”. Of course, our Jamaican expression “mash up” has now taken on a whole new meaning in the technological sphere.

    • Thank you Yasmin.
      Here’s hoping you will keep connected, be inspired and share again!!
      Bless!