Empressjournee Jamaica

Today- I Let His Love Take Over Me

Today

Today I did not want to explain how I feel. I wanted to scream, beat the ground
Like there was no tomorrow and let you hear my thunder, throw something
Against the wall, as I felt the heaviness of this earthly sorrow.

Today I did not want to explain how I feel. I wanted to scream and scream,
Muffle my mouth before I said something hurtful and Mean,
As you keep insisting that we should pray and pray
And I knew God understood everything that I was feeling.

Today I did not want to explain how I feel
Or be amongst anyone that resemble the voice of pain
Professing love for me—today I tried to be silent
wanted total silence and we stop playing this tic for tac
Foolish game, yet you—the caller, felt that I did not
want you to share the greatness of His Majesty.

Today I wanted to scream and scream,
I didn’t think you hear me. Is this a dream?
I find myself explaining the unexplainable—foolish
Of me, as I hung up the phone, I breathe in and out,
Push down the hurt the ache within and say,
Stop, enough of this guilt trip!
And I began to call out the Lord’s name,
Even when I felt like screaming again and again,
‘Help me God and please father, silence the pain
That is aching me!! Today, Today I wanted,
I really, really, wanted to scream and scream
instead I let His love take over me.

Empress M.

About the author

empressjournee

I am a proud mother, grandmother, poet, writer, performer, a singer, great cook, a lover of unique, fashionable earrings, and love to wear & dress in an unique, artistic fashion.
I was born in Jamaica West Indies, immigrated to the United States of America at the tender age of ten. I've had the great privilege working for the Human Resource Admin, taught at an Head-Start and move on as an uprising reggae singer to perform as an open act for various great singers like Dennis Brown, Calypso Rose, World-A-Girl and others I admired. My career ended due to the path and choices I made. However, I drew strength to rise, through Christ, the support of love ones and guidance of Christ. I give thanks for the knowledge and experience that allowed me to see my own flaws, steps I took and the game of life. I am still working on the connections with my love ones that has been fractured. However I am grateful that God has allow me to still have a way of reaching out to my love ones and to express my inner thoughts through poetry. I am growing everyday as I work on a higher Christ consciousness of my mind. I give thanks to my natural parents for doing the best they could to see me through my pursuit to success. I consider myself a great person and love to give of myself, which at times are a positive and negative. I am also working on strengthening all areas of my spiritual gifts. I hope when you read these poetic thoughts you can relate, especially people who are battling with depression and self-worth. Thank you for reading my poetic thoughts. Think Wisely! Love Empress Journee!

2 Comments

  • Hi Anthea,

    I enjoyed reading your blog. I love the name too! I found your reflections on some of the well-intentioned, but idiosyncratic parenting styles of some Jamaicans to be very funny. I remember some of those shoes from my primary school days that I just could not “mash up”. Of course, our Jamaican expression “mash up” has now taken on a whole new meaning in the technological sphere.

    • Thank you Yasmin.
      Here’s hoping you will keep connected, be inspired and share again!!
      Bless!