Today I did not want to explain how I feel. I wanted to scream, beat the ground
Like there was no tomorrow and let you hear my thunder, throw something
Against the wall, as I felt the heaviness of this earthly sorrow.
Today I did not want to explain how I feel. I wanted to scream and scream,
Muffle my mouth before I said something hurtful and Mean,
As you keep insisting that we should pray and pray
And I knew God understood everything that I was feeling.
Today I did not want to explain how I feel
Or be amongst anyone that resemble the voice of pain
Professing love for me—today I tried to be silent
wanted total silence and we stop playing this tic for tac
Foolish game, yet you—the caller, felt that I did not
want you to share the greatness of His Majesty.
Today I wanted to scream and scream,
I didn’t think you hear me. Is this a dream?
I find myself explaining the unexplainable—foolish
Of me, as I hung up the phone, I breathe in and out,
Push down the hurt the ache within and say,
Stop, enough of this guilt trip!
And I began to call out the Lord’s name,
Even when I felt like screaming again and again,
‘Help me God and please father, silence the pain
That is aching me!! Today, Today I wanted,
I really, really, wanted to scream and scream
instead I let His love take over me.