Empressjournee Jamaica

Today- I Let His Love Take Over Me


Today I did not want to explain how I feel. I wanted to scream, beat the ground
Like there was no tomorrow and let you hear my thunder, throw something
Against the wall, as I felt the heaviness of this earthly sorrow.

Today I did not want to explain how I feel. I wanted to scream and scream,
Muffle my mouth before I said something hurtful and Mean,
As you keep insisting that we should pray and pray
And I knew God understood everything that I was feeling.

Today I did not want to explain how I feel
Or be amongst anyone that resemble the voice of pain
Professing love for me—today I tried to be silent
wanted total silence and we stop playing this tic for tac
Foolish game, yet you—the caller, felt that I did not
want you to share the greatness of His Majesty.

Today I wanted to scream and scream,
I didn’t think you hear me. Is this a dream?
I find myself explaining the unexplainable—foolish
Of me, as I hung up the phone, I breathe in and out,
Push down the hurt the ache within and say,
Stop, enough of this guilt trip!
And I began to call out the Lord’s name,
Even when I felt like screaming again and again,
‘Help me God and please father, silence the pain
That is aching me!! Today, Today I wanted,
I really, really, wanted to scream and scream
instead I let His love take over me.

Empress M.

About the author


I am a graduate of Medgar Evers College (M.E.C.); Mother of three and grandmother. I love to read great books and listen to podcasts that uplift one's consciousness and share historical view of the different shades of color, the various culture, the way we all are connected, the musical genius throughout the world and the works that are done to help us tap into ourselves and know that we are worthy. I love to write poetry and sing. There was a moment that now phase in another aspiration of my life, I felt singing was a forum—a path to take, that helps me to voice, express my thoughts, in time where I was struggling, battling something I did not understand and what I was going through; feeling unsupportive. Although, there was some support, especially from my love ones, the challenges I faced was mostly internal.
Back then, as I search to find myself, what I would like to do and who was there to support my dreams at a time I thought I was safe and appreciated, however I was awoken to a reality through words said and unsaid that I needed more development, more attention and love coming from the highest of myself. I did not take those words so good because truly I wanted to succeed to help support my family, give back to the community and to the planet I was birth. At time, I did not know that there was another calling on my life and that the path I chose, I was not well prepared. So, writing became my outlet.
To my children, and those who were going through their own challenges, and those who gave their time to assist me in my dreams, those who have read my poetic imagination, let this poetry enlightening you to write and express yourself from a safe place regardless of what is being said that is not productive. I hope there will be a new chapter in my life that will bring success, inspired those who struggle with defeat, exhaustion, fatigue, lack of vision, depression, various illness, and struggle to give of themselves; to be far better in their thoughts, words, and deeds, uplifting one's character.
When I began my poetry, I felt so deeply inspired I would write when I was inspired, bored and when I feel uninspired. I would take long breaks at times and start all over again. I know I am required to do and be my very best, this is what I strive to be. I wanted to especially thank my love ones, those who stood with me, who help me in the 'music, authors of Caribbean magazine, and film industry,’ although I was new in the game, I felt the urge that I can excel and will make my dream possible, as I was being ushered to pursue my dreams.
To those who were along with me in my journey to self-awareness, and saw my triumph and my defeat in a powerful musical industry; I learn lessons that ‘maturity’ and great mentor, support is needed. I also learned that great knowledge is needed of the background, the lives, the history of musical legends, before my time, one must bring forth great message to the people whose soul needed upliftment. I came to the awareness in the choices I made and the rude awaken that development is needed spiritually and physical discipline in one’s mind and a love for the inner self and people.
I am so grateful that I was a part of a journey that taught me lessons and motivate me that preparation is a must to face a world that may not be ready for a new rising star. Thank you for taking the time to read my poetry. I especially wanted to give honor to my mother who is no longer in the physical, as well as my natural father for the knowledge of health before he departed from this planet. Also, I would like to thank you my supporter for being on this journey with me even at times when the journey seems unclear. May we appreciate the blessings that has been given to us, as we continue to soar, as we reach a place of true jubilee.

Empress Journee


  • Hi Anthea,

    I enjoyed reading your blog. I love the name too! I found your reflections on some of the well-intentioned, but idiosyncratic parenting styles of some Jamaicans to be very funny. I remember some of those shoes from my primary school days that I just could not “mash up”. Of course, our Jamaican expression “mash up” has now taken on a whole new meaning in the technological sphere.

    • Thank you Yasmin.
      Here’s hoping you will keep connected, be inspired and share again!!