You’re Crazy, Wayne La Pierre, Crazy as a Loon!

“If it’s crazy to call for putting police and armed security in our school to protect our children, then call me crazy,” the NRA’s Wayne LaPierre (photo above) told NBC’s Meet the Press host David Gregory this morning.

OK, so I will call you crazy, Wayne LaPierre. And you’re not just crazy; you’re dumb, too.

Where would you station these armed security guards? In the classrooms?

You would need one in every classroom if you want to be sure to stop those rampaging maniacs. And how would you get the kids to study with an armed guard in the room?

The gendarmes wouldn’t do much good patrolling the exterior, Wayne. They would probably get picked off before they could even draw their little .38 revolvers.

Have you ever fired a Saturday Night Special, Wayne? I have.  I emptied the darned thing at a rain barrel 30 yards away and managed to hit nothing more than an overhanging branch. And I was a good marksman (with a rifle) at the time – a member of my high-school shooting team.

I bet you haven’t faced anyone else with a gun, Wayne. I can just see you shaking in your boots. I  bet the closest you’ve come is firing at make-believe bad guys at the target range.

Imagine facing a raving maniac who is carrying an AK 47.

You would get mowed down so fast they would need a vacuum cleaner to pick up all of your pieces.

Unless you think the security guards should carry AK 47 rifles, too?

Imagine how that would work. Two fear-crazed people firing those things at each other. Bullets flying all over the place.

Do you think parents really want their kids caught in that kind of cross-fire?

Do you think parents really want their kids surrounded by weapons, where some teed-off student (or teacher)  could get hold of one or where some bumbling guard could accidentally let loose a volley of bullets?

Do you really think the only remedy to a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun, Wayne?

Who do you think you are, anyway? Quickdraw Magraw (see illustration above)?

Come on, Wayne, grow up!

This is 2012. This is supposed to be a civilized society. We do not need guns in schools.

What we need is to get the guns – especially military weapons – off the streets, and out of the reach of mad people.

gwgraeme

I am a Jamaican-born writer who has lived and worked in Canada and the United States. I live in Lakeland, Florida with my wife, Sandra, our three cats and two dogs. I like to play golf and enjoy our garden, even though it's a lot of work. Since retiring from newspaper reporting I've written a few books. I also write a monthly column for Jamaicans.com

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